𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗱 / 𝗿𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗼𝗻

nineteen

Life became dull.

Without him.

Valerie wasn't even sure it was him she missed, more the fighting, the feeling he caused to sink deep in her stomach whenever he said something, made some comment that would bother her.

She missed the excitement that came when he would walk through the door of their hotel room, and she wouldn't know what to expect. If he would ignore her, if he would yell, if he would be nice, rude, drunk, upset.

When she thought about it like that, it didn't seem as amazing as her mind chalked it up to be.

But it was all she had. 

He made her feel alive, a feeling she didn't feel much of when she was here.

The thing was, Valerie expected it would have been different. She'd dreamed of this moment but it wasn't like what she thought it would be.

So she felt much more alone now than before, because she was surrounded by people. By Sarah, by the presence of her brother knowing he was just down the hall but she couldn't speak to them. 

Not really. She spoke to Sarah at breakfast, at lunch and at dinner. They held brief conversations in the sitting room, or the kitchen, or even the library. 

But they didn't really talk.

Sarah noticed the cameras too. They were both smart enough to know what that meant. So instead they'd exchanged glances with millions of words they wished they could say trapped behind their eyes that they thought, maybe one day, maybe if we could get away from Wards prying eyes, everything would spill.

Valerie was sure when they returned to the Bahamas last week something would have changed, something would have happened, something would be different. Because returning to the Outer Banks must have been a ploy to get her away for a few days.

That it had been some kind of distraction, but when they had finally returned, everything was the same. Nothing was different, nothing she could discern, at least. And that almost concerned her more than if she had come back to noticeable change.

It just hadn't made a lot of sense to her. Of course she would never be able to trust Ward, not for a second. So the believing that he didn't have some ulterior motive, the thought that he wasn't using her, the thought that he actually wanted to work with her could not wedge itself into her brain. 

The cameras were removed in her room, and even though she'd heard him make the order, a part of her still couldn't believe it until she got back and saw for herself. They still lined the hallway leading to her room, and were still perched along the corners her door was built into. A guard still stood only feet from the door, and she still wasn't allowed guests inside, expect for Ward himself.

But the moment she shut herself inside, there was complete privacy. 

She inspected each wall, each corner, each nook, each spot a camera could be hidden but she found nothing. Valerie was cautious at first, and she didn't take this lightly. She had lost trust long ago and it wouldn't be so simple to fall into things like this. 

Eventually she accepted it. And after a few hours she slipped off her shoes, shoved a hand inside the right one, and finally removed the three bullets that had been taking up too much space for her liking. She buried them under a pile of clothes in her dresser and checked frequently to make sure they were still there.

She spent a lot of time in her room after that, and the rush of excitement that came with shutting the door behind herself didn't dull. 

It was great.