~𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍~

Waking and sinking (12)

Sorry for the long wait and warning before we start this is not a happy chapter if you catch my drift + Im kinda bad at writing not very weird stuff 💀

Third persons POV:
We're discharging you mr, youll be out of here soon.
The nurse said to Russia who was nervously sitting on his hospital bed.

Russia couldn't really focus on much, he was feeling a bit drugged out by the medicine.
Russias vision was blurry but he wasn't sure if that was because of the medicine or not, all he knew was his head was pounding.

After some time Russia came to the realization of what the nurse had just said, right now he most eagerly wanted out of the hospital so he stood up even if he was feeling a little unstable.

Away from where Russia had been staying, Finland was still unconscious after being put into a bad state.

Russia's thoughts weren't a mess just because of the drugs, what had happened was making him struggle even more, guilt and regret were overflowing him and he was questioning himself and his actions every minute.
Other than that he had kind of went into an autopilot state, nodding when somebody says something, moving around when needed, eating what ever food he was offered at the hospital.

If Russia could take his actions back he would, almost nothing else was on his mind.
Russia stood up shakily, he wanted to get away, away from the nurses, away from his actions, away from Finland, away from the hospital, away from everybody, away from everything.

Russia started walking, soon finding his way into the hallway.
He was deep in his thoughts while getting out of there, a couple people rushed past him but he didn't pay much attention to them.
His steps were unsteady but he was walking relatively quick.
It didn't take long until Russia was wondering around the hospital parking lot.

Russias POV:
Im not going near that damn hospital ever again.. shit, accually Im not going near anybody again. Im not ever going near Finland either, definetly not. How stupid can somebody be..? Why did I ever even think I liked Finland? You don't.. you don't... you don't just fuck up like that with anybody, Im cruel and disgusting, I deserve nothing good..
I don't know why Finland attacked me.. but. I- ..I probably shouldn't have approached him, he clearly got mad because I thought.. because Estonia thought.. I should have just left when he said he doesn't wanna go to the bar.. I should have never even come to his house. I should have just let America do this shit and never think back. Now I caused Finland a nasty trip. Why am I so stupid? Im feel so ashamed.. Father was right, caring too much for others gets in the way.
I probably didn't even care for him, I should have seen that I was just confused.. I don't care for anybody and nobody cares for me.. not really, why did I think it was that way..?

I stumble, standing infront of my car.
Good thing Germany and Swiss are just fucked up enough not to tell the police..atleast before they know if he's..
I searched my pockets for my car keys, luckily they were still there and I unlocked my car.
I jumped in but realized trying to drive out of there would have been more like suicide, honestly thats a good option too but I can't bother to try.

I relaxed closing my eyes, finally alone in silence.
Where after this? Maybe to buy Germany and Swizerland beer for helping or something.. on another note, a trip to the graveyard would be nice. damn I've gone and messed up, again..? Well again but worse.. I doomed myself and Finland by somehow thinking I could ever be close with him. I don't know what to think.. Its just the same over.. and over. Id rather sleep and never wake up...