Corrupted Souls | remus lupin

cutting ties

Neoma's elbows dug into her knees as she buried her face in her hands. Hot, wet tears were accumulating in her palms, but whenever she went to wipe them onto her thighs she would meet her father's gaze and her heart would break just a little further. 

"Darling, you knew it would have to be this way," Nicodemus whispered, reaching out for her hand. "I wish it could be different, but this is your chance for a better life."

Neoma sniffed, tears still leaking from her eyes. She was all snotty, and her face was blotchy and red. 

"Dad, just come with me - please. Voldemort is scared of Dumbledore - he wouldn't be able to touch you -"

"I think you know it isn't that simple, love," Nicodemus sighed, kissing the top of her head. "There is nothing Tom hates more than traitors. I'll be hunted and killed, and then he'll turn to you and your new friends. I'm stuck where I am. Besides - I think I'm a wanted man, now."

Neoma's face darkened at his reminder. The day after her graduation, NICODEMUS NOTT SPOTTED AT DEATH EATER RAID became The Daily Prophet's newest headline, confirming the rumors that already surrounded his name. While he still hadn't been caught in the direct act of a crime, he was certainly at the top of The Ministry's hit list. He had no choice but to seek further refuge in Voldemort's operation. 

"Dumbledore could clear your name."

"I don't deserve to have my name cleared, Neoma." 

They sat in a heavy silence. Neoma knew he was right. 

"Dad, what if ... what if I see you and I have to fight you? What do I do? Will you try to kill me?"

"I would never harm you, Neoma ... but I can't guarantee you won't see me out there. I'll probably be in my mask, though, so you won't even kno-"

"What if I kill you?"

"Don't think about it, darling."

Neoma started to cry again. 

They spent at least another hour mourning the loss of each other. Nicodemus tried to maintain his composure, but he did crack toward the end and wrapped his daughter into a tight embrace. A majority of his thoughts were consumed by self-hatred; his decisions and his decisions alone had destroyed his family. 

He helped her pack up the belongings she wanted to keep. Among them were the cauldron he'd bought her for Christmas and one of her mother's dresses. They found pictures of the family when Neoma was a little girl; she was smiling, but her parents looked grim. 

"I could be a spy," Neoma suggested as she folded up her final article of clothing. "I know I'm not everyone's favourite right now, but I'm sure I can convince them I was just going through a phase -"

"Neoma I have an extremely difficult time keeping Tom out of my mind when it comes to these matters, and I've been practicing occlumency for a very long time. Your intentions would be discovered immediately."

Neoma sighed, knowing he was right, and took a final look around her room. It was never the most inviting place, but now it was even more void of her personality. All that remained were pieces of a girl that had since died: fancy dresses, delicate jewelry, and trinkets that looked small but were worth a fortune. 

In truth, Neoma really didn't know who she was anymore. If she found a new home, what would she hang on her walls? What would go on her nightstand?

"Well, I guess this is it." Nicodemus couldn't manage to muster up a smile as he led Neoma out of her room and down the stairs. His hands were cold and clammy. His heart ached. "Don't tell me where, but you have a place to stay, right?"