Love From Rivalry - A Lesbian Love Story

Chapter 6

I felt a moment of bliss as our lips met. I kissed her passionately. She responded instantly. I ran my hand through her hair. She pulled me closer to her. I needed more of her. I kissed her jaw, slowly moving towards her neck. She let out an almost inaudible gasp. I moved up again, kissing her lips with a fiery intensity. I suddenly felt a push.

"Stop."

I stepped away from her.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked, panting.

"I... I don't know,"

She groaned.

"Do I seem like a joke to you? Are my feelings a toy to you?" she asked, angry and disappointed.

"No."

"Then why? I asked you to be my girlfriend and you rejected me. But you kiss me. Do you have feelings for me or not?"

"I don't know..."

"Why can't you love me back? Am I not enough?" I heard her whisper.

"It's not that."

"Then?"

"I don't know..."

She just turned around and walked away.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere to clear my head."

She disappeared from my sight. I sat down with my back against a tree.  I don't want to hurt her. I can't tell her the reason. She will leave me if I tell her. I'm a very selfish person. I was about to exploit someone just for validation. I don't deserve to have the honour of being her girlfriend.

My mind began to wander. I thought of my childhood. I remember spending time with my father, brother and grandmother. I remember I never cried when I lost my mother because I had my father. He was everything I could've hoped for. I remember the house filled with laughter. Where did it go wrong? Where did my smile go when I grew up? Where is the me that loved to be happy and make others happy? A tear fell, followed by another. Soon I wept without stop. I couldn't breathe and started choking on my tears. Soon, the anguish turned to rage. I briskly stood up and turned around. I punched the tree with every drop of rage in me. I kept punching. My knuckles were burning but I paid no heed. I punched again. Suddenly I was engulfed in a warm hug.

"Hey, don't do that. You're hurting yourself."

I pushed her away.

"Don't touch me! Go away!" I screamed.

"No! I'm not leaving you!" She hugged me again.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one who should be sorry. I should understand you, Mei,"  her voice broke.

"No. I'm a bad person."

"You're not," her arms tightened around me.

"Y-Your lying," my voice shook.

"I'm not. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met. I love you. I really do."

I broke down.

"Hey, it's okay. You're gonna be okay. Just look at me. Breathe."  Her voice was gentle.

I tried to suppress it.

"Don't suppress it. Let it out. I'm here. Cry for as long as you want. I'll keep holding you."

That was it. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tightly. My legs gave up and we sank to the ground. I sobbed. I let out all of the emotions I had locked up. I finally found my safe space. She kept rocking me and whispered consoling things.

"Don't let me go. Please hold me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here," she tightened her arms around me.

After a while I finally stopped crying. I still held on to her. I didn't want to let go.

"Are you okay now?"

I just nodded. She kissed my hair. She laid down on the ground still holding me.

"Go to sleep. You're very tired."

"But you'll be sore."

"That's okay. Just sleep now."

She sweetly patted my hair and rubbed my back. I quickly drifted to sleep, too exhausted from the crying.

I woke up with a headache. I opened my eyes to see I was laying on top of Celine. She was sleeping peacefully. I looked at her face. I pushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. I can't believe a person like her loves me. I'm not worthy of her love. If only she knew what kind of a person I am. She would hate me for eternity if she knew. I can't do that to her. I regret everything. I'm such a bad person. How could I even think of doing that? Even if she is my enemy I shouldn't do that. When did I turn that heartless? A tear slipped from my eye. I wiped it away. I slowly leaned forward to kiss her. My lips almost touched hers but I stopped myself.

"I don't deserve you."

I gently kissed her forehead and slowly untangled myself from her. I got up and walked away. I needed to be alone for now. I walked mindlessly. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should leave? But Celine would be alone and I don't want to leave her alone. Do I love her? I don't know the answer but I do know that she deserves better than me. All of a sudden, I heard footsteps. I thought it was Celine.

"I... Um... I wanted to apologise..."

I heard what sounded like a click. Hearing that I turned around.

"What are you doin-"

Bang!

I fell to the ground. I felt like I was burning. I felt liquid pouring out. Wow. What a great time to die. Oh no, what happened to Celine? I hope she's fine. I tired to get up but pain shot through my body. I tried again, biting my tongue as to not scream. But I still fell.

"Mei!"

Oh no.

"Celine, run!" I shouted in a panic.

Bang!

To be continued.

Thank you for reading.