I'll Keep You Safe If You Let Me

Chapter 6 - Waiting

Summary: Natasha considers giving herself over to Fury.

They were supposed to sleep in shifts. Natasha trusted Okoye and Steve to keep alert but her eyes refused to close.

Propping the side of her face in her hand, elbow on the mattress, she stretched out next to Clint, wanting to memorize everything she could.

She ran her finger down the bridge of his nose that was broken by Barney when they recreated WrestleMania in their backyard in middle school.

His two day old stubble ticked her palm as she caressed his face. Natasha shivered remembering how it tickled her thighs too.

That good feeling was quickly doused with the harsh reality that this could be her last time in their room, her safe space. Clint and his friends worked hard to make this a home, and now they could lose it.

Natasha snuggled closer and slipped a hand under his shirt, resting it over his heart. The slow, steady beat was always soothing. Leaning in, she inhaled his scent and nosed along under his jaw, trying to feel as much of him as she could.

"How am I supposed to leave this bed when you touch me like that?'' Clint murmured with his eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." She went to snatch her hand away but he captured it.

"Wasn't sleeping." He kissed her palm then her wrist. "Lying here pretending everything is fine and hoping this will all go away so we don't have to fight. Does that make me a coward?"

She hated the doubt she saw in those stormy blue eyes. The man had jumped in front of walkers for her and he wondered if he was brave? Natasha sat up on her knees ready to shake him.

"Cowards don't risk their lives for others. Cowards don't help strangers and bring them into their home. If you were anyone else suggesting that about you..."

He cut her off with a kiss.

"I do not deserve to be loved by you." He smiled and put his forehead to hers.

No, you deserve better, she wanted to say but knew Clint didn't like it when she put herself down. Natasha slid her arms around his shoulders.

"Well, you are, get used to it."

"I like these reminders." He readjusted her on his lap and frowned a little. "You have that thinking face on. What's up?"

It was hard to hide her feelings from him.

"We should have killed Fury that night."

"No, our mission was to save Steve and Bucky. We didn't know what he would do."

"I should have known."

"It doesn't matter. We saved our friends because of what you did know. We got this place locked down and know what we're up against. We are not killers."

Natasha hid within his arms, regret settling in her stomach. He'd only seen a glimpse of what the Governor was capable of. She brought this nightmare on them, and once again, Clint's life was in danger because of her.

She was the only one who could stop it.

"Whatever happens, we will be okay as long as we're together." Clint murmured in her hair and rubbed circles on her back when she began to tremble.

No one could sleep. They drew a layout of the prison on the back of some old maps, marking key points.