Gods & Angels | Sinners of Saint Benedicts duet 1 (dark/bully romance)

Chapter Two

A year later and life had certainly changed, but I wasn’t sure it was the best day ever, every day.
I was less naïve. If only slightly.
I knew what God and his Angels meant, and I didn’t like it.
There was a hierarchy at Saint Benedict’s College. Every family had blood on their hands, of that I had no doubt but, those that had the most, ruled the school. And at the top was God and his Angels. Collectively known as the Saints. They were all entitled and cocky. But no more so than God.
Being God may as well have been exactly what it sounded like.
It meant privilege and arrogance beyond comprehension. It meant belittling and bullying and a lot more that I knew Apollo kept from me. Things like sex and violence. I saw the hints of weapons that the boys thought they hid from the nuns. I knew enough to be pretty sure that God had sent girls to make Apollo ‘a real man’. There was just something different about him now.
By the time we were preparing for our second year at Saint Benedicts, Apollo was already a changed man. And I could only do so much when my time with Apollo was hampered by Valen Kincaid, the dark-haired boy with tattoos down his arm and Apollo’s first Angel. By the end of the year, the future God of Saint Benedicts had filled two of his Angel positions with the introduction of Marco O’Malley. Between Valen and Marco, any time I spent with Apollo was filtered, was public. Valen even invaded our holidays, occupying the room next to mine at Callahan Hall.
I didn’t know what Apollo had said to Valen, but he’d made it his mission to make sure the whole school knew I was Apollo’s, and Apollo did nothing to stop him. It hadn’t taken long before none of the boys even looked at me. The one boy, who had the misfortune of getting the memo late and kissed me, had ended up with a broken jaw to match Valen’s bloodied knuckles. The rest feel into line pretty quickly after that.
I hated Valen Kincaid.
I hated who Apollo was becoming.
Everything had definitely changed, and I wished I’d paid more attention to Frenella when she’d tried to tell me that it was coming. Maybe if I’d been more prepared, I wouldn’t have looked the other way. But by the time I knew I shouldn’t be silent any longer, I’d been silent too long.
But nothing changed quite so much until the week before our second year.
An icy reception greeted us when Mum, Dad and I arrived at Callahan Hall.
Frenella and Mum still embraced, with forced smiles and warm words. But they hurried me away as quickly as they could. It didn’t stop me from feeling Valen’s contemptuous glare from up on the stairs. I looked up and saw Apollo standing there with him. Apollo gave me a terse nod and I felt that small part of me shrivelling again.
“Vanguard,” Archer said as he nodded at Dad.
“Archer.”
“Let’s get this over with.”
I felt panic well up in me. I may have been kept in the dark about a lot of what they did and why, but I knew something was going on. Something between our dads, and Apollo was just standing there like he didn’t care.
“Apollo,” Archer barked. “Dismiss your wolf and get down here.”
Apollo gave Valen a nod, then jogged effortlessly down the stairs.
That one action told me how much he’d changed. No longer was he just running down the stairs, just existing so he could get to me quickly. He was restrained, practiced, like he knew all eyes were on him. He moved with the beginnings of the smooth confidence of a man who knows he’s…well, God.
As he passed me, there was a moment where I saw the old Apollo in his eyes. He didn’t know what was happening either.
“Mum?” I asked her.
She just shook her head, took my hand and tugged for me to follow her. Follow her, I did. She led me up the stairs. I didn’t miss the small touch between her and Frenella as we went.
“Valen,” Mum said as we passed him, still standing as though sentry.
He inclined his head. “Mrs Vanguard. Miss Vanguard.”
It was always Miss Vanguard. Like he was more servant than friend. It would take me years to see that, for Apollo and Valen, they were one and the same; there was no friendship without service, and no service without a friendship more like brotherhood.
Mum took me into my room and shut the door.
“What’s happening?” I asked her.
As she turned, I saw her hand was shaking a little, but she was putting on a brave face. “You know how Frenella and I have always joked about you and Apollo getting married one day?” she said.
I nodded slowly. “Yeah…”
She nodded as she started moving around the room, like she was getting an outfit ready for me. “Well,” she said, forcing the joviality. “Well, that’s going to happen.”
I frowned. “No, it’s not.”
She gave me a look and I didn’t know what it meant.
“No,” I repeated. “The school just thinks we’re together because Valen–”
“This has nothing to do with what the children at Saint Benedicts do or do not think, Harlow,” Mum said harshly, then let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Mum, I don’t understand.”
She nodded again. “I know. I…” She sighed, sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to her.
I dropped into it, and she looked at the wall like she was praying for courage.
“You are to marry Apollo, sweetheart. There’s nothing we can do. The two of you get along so well, that it was probably going to happen anyway. Now, it’s just…a certainty.”
I didn’t know what to say. “But I don’t want to marry Apollo.”
Mum sighed again and I thought she was holding back tears. “You don’t now. Who knows what the future will bring?”
“If Apollo keeps up this future God charade, then I can tell you what the future will bring,” I muttered.
“I know, sweetheart. I know it’s hard.”
“It’s not hard. I just say no.”
Mum took my hands. “You can’t say no, Harlow.”
“Why not?”
“You need to do this, sweetheart,” Mum told me, and I saw fear in her eyes. “It’s how it works.”
How it works. This world I was only permitted to understand half of. This world where I was deemed too soft to make my own choices or be my own person. This world that took sweet boys and turned them into hardened men.
I could see it in her eyes. I was going to have to do it. At least, I was going to have to agree now. Surely, I’d have at least five years before we could be expected to marry. That was plenty of time to make an escape plan.
I nodded in an effort to reassure her. “Your marriage to Dad was arranged.”
Her nod wasn’t quite so reassuring. “Yes, but... This is a little different.” Her eyes beseeched me to understand as she ran her hands over my hair. “We owe the Callahans, sweetheart.” Her voice shook. “We...had no choice. Your father was backed into a corner. A life for a life. The life they demanded was...yours.”
I felt my eyes widen. I thought this was a marriage deal. “They’re going to kill me?”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach the sadness in her eyes. “No. No, they want your hand. Apollo as your father’s heir.”
I might have been kept from the full nuances of the men’s business, but I knew enough to make an educated guess.
“Archer wants Daddy’s money...” I said.
Mum nodded. “Archer would kill for your father’s money.”
When most people said that, it was rhetorical, hyperbole. Something about the way Mum said it made me think she was serious.
My mind ran miles a minute.
Dad owed the Callahans. My hand – my inheritance – was payment. And someone would die if I didn’t go through with it. Well, there went any thoughts of an escape plan.
“Archer hoped you and Apollo would happen naturally,” Mum continued. “Over time. Then...” She cleared her throat. “Now, he doesn’t have to wait.”
This – Apollo and I – was more than just the wishful thinking of two doting mothers, then.
“When... When do I have to marry him?” I asked, assuming it was something as stupid as next week.
Mum shrugged. “There’s no date in the contract. It was agreed to wait until you finish school to draw up the...particulars. At present, it merely stands as a contract owing and the...consequences if it is broken...”
I didn’t need to ask what the consequences were. Even if I hadn’t already guessed, I would have by the way her voice trembled, the look of fear in her eyes, the way her hand reached for mine. I could see she was trying to hide it, the way the women were always supposed to hide it, but she couldn’t. She was that worried.
I nodded. “Okay,” I told her, sounding braver than I felt. “Okay, I’ll marry Apollo. One day,” I added as though I had any power in the situation at all.
Mum hugged me tightly. “Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you.”
As we sat around for pre-dinner drinks that night, our fathers made the announcement.
“Harlow and Apollo will marry,” Archer said.
“And Apollo will be the heir to the Vanguard fortune,” my dad finished, his voice tight, and everything in me fell.
I watched Archer and my father shake hands. My fate sealed. At least, if I was being made to marry someone, it got to be my best friend. If that counted for anything anymore. Everyone at Saint Benedicts had already been told I was Apollo’s. Valen had made sure of that. Why not make it reality?
There was still obvious friction between our fathers, though Archer seemed very pleased with himself as our mothers lavished praise and excitement on the men. There was an undercurrent of tension in the room, like we were all walking on eggshells. We all had our part to play. If we didn’t, people died. Well, I could play a part. How hard could it be?
In our corner of the room, Apollo took my hand. “I’m sorry, Harlow.”
“What for?” I winced at the venom in my voice.
“We’ll get through this. Together.”
I was feeling slightly less optimistic about that. “Really?”
His hand squeezed mine. “I’ll always protect you, Harlow. Our world will never hurt you.”
Clearly, he knew more than me. Equally clear was that he wasn’t about to enlighten me. I didn’t know how he expected to protect me. My place was clearly fixed as far as our parents were concerned, and now Apollo had firmly placed me there as well, even if it was from some misguided belief that he was doing what was best for me.
As a woman in this world, I’d begun to understand I held little power, but at least I’d had my father’s inheritance to give me some influence and authority. Now it – and I – was promised to Apollo, I had none. I was the same as the rest of them.
Trophy.
Enabler.
Prisoner.