[M] Star Lost || Changlix

[M] 5 - our own demons

Changbin's POV:

Continuing on September 12

I ran home; more like sprinted back to my house. I can't believe this is happening again. Barely two weeks at a new school and I'm already slipping. I snuck in through the back quietly since I didn't want my parents to hear. I'm not even sure if they're here anyways, but I'm being quiet just in case. All the lights were off, which made me sigh in relief as I tiptoed up to my room on the second floor. I needed my keys to unlock my room, quickly getting inside and locking the door behind me.

I pressed my back against the door as I flipped the light on, closing my eyes as I whispered, "I'm such an idiot."

I need to stop thinking like this, it never does me any good. Neither does acting on it out of impulse. Who am I kidding? I was watching porn before Felix walked in, and I know there weren't any girls in the video. I'm sick or something. Sick in the head from thinking like this again. I thought I was getting better. Even though I was having thoughts over the summer, I was good about pushing them away. I don't know what happened tonight.

Everything just happened so fast that I couldn't stop myself. I really just said it as a joke so he would leave, but I wasn't expecting him to actually get on his knees. I still remember how nice he smelled, not like everyone else who was four or five drinks deep at the time. His shirt was too short, and I was serious about not having to wear a shirt at all. There was no point, I could see his abs and small chest easily. His arms were small as well, but you could still see his muscles since he's so skinny.

Felix was his name.

I could feel how my crotch was still a little wet from being in his mouth, and his hand was so small that he could barely even grab me. I bit my bottom lip when I remembered every little detail; like how he sucked his cheeks in, how his lips were trembling, how he gagged when I went too deep, how he looked up at me with glossy eyes, how his legs were shaking after he came, everything.

I snapped out of it when I felt my pants getting tighter for the second time tonight, cursing at the throbbing that made it harder, "Shit—"

I rolled my hips into my jeans from reflex, just staring down at myself for a few seconds as I bit my lip harder. I hesitated to bring my hand down to it, placing my palm on my thigh and slowly sliding it closer. I let out a little breath when I palmed myself over my jeans, able to feel the dampness against my skin from just a little while ago.

I closed my eyes, looking at the sight that's now engraved into my brain: Both of my hands were on the door to catch myself while Felix let me thrust into his mouth. That's the one thing that made my mind go crazy. He just let me take control. He let me go too deep. He was so submissive to me.

"Mmm—Fuck..." I mumbled under my breath since I was getting hard again. I must be really horny or something to literally cum and want to do it again twenty minutes later. I lightly squeezed, and it just made me more anxious. I brought my other hand down as well, but this time to slowly slide up my shirt. My lip was probably bleeding at this point from how hard I was biting it, bringing my fingers up to my nipple and pressing on it.

The action almost made me moan, but I just flinched instead. That's the only place where I'm so sensitive that I'll crumble, so I was quick to pull my hand away after just a few seconds. I kept teasing myself, rolling my hips into my hand while lightly pressing on my nipple every few seconds.

Stop.

I don't want to.

You need to stop.

I heard that voice in my head, and all I wanted to do was ignore it. I did for a moment, squeezing my crotch one more time before my fingers moved to the button of my jeans. My hand was shaking since I pressed on my nipple again, and I couldn't get a good grip on the button. I got frustrated, anxious for anything since I was teasing myself so much. I slipped my hand down my pants instead, reminding me of the way Felix did the same thing. His hand wasn't as big as mine, but it was so warm as I rolled my hips against it.