Bittersweet

Internal Affairs

The rest of the day passed by in a blur.

Tuesday was no different.

I ignored both Lilly and Jasper in class.

Wednesday was no different.

I avoided both of them in the halls.

Thursday was no different.

I had no news of my mother's condition. None good. None bad. Just none.

When Friday came along, I strode into class just as I did everyday. Mrs. Arnett asked if there was any news just like everyday. And I responded that there was non just like every other day.

But today I would not be able to walk to my seat in peace. I would not be able to take my notes in peace. Wonder on how I could get my siblings to laugh or even smile for a minute when I picked them up after school. I would not be able to do any of that. Because 'The Brimstone Sisters' decided today was the day to speak before they speak.

"Looks like she is a pouty bitch this morning as well." That was Maisie, every word drawn out and annunciated like some entitled valley girl. Rove giggles and pats Maisie's shoulder while giving me a look of fake pity.

"Don't be like that Maisie. Everyone has their demons to overcome. Some mental and some...physical." I could feel my forearm itch at the comment.

I could see Mrs. Arnett debating on whether or not to get involved. There was no need for it. I was not a kid cowering in the corner wishing for the teachers to intervene anymore. Those days are long gone.

"Wow, that insult was sly.." I take a few steps and stop right behind the two witches, "for a couple of cross-eyed, pigeon faced bitches." I raise my hands and pat both of them on their shoulders and sending them a genuine pitying smile.

My stomach plummets as soon as I turn away from them. Jasper and Lilly were staring directly at me. Jasper had one knee over the other and held a small metal object, twirling it in one hand while the other was fisted on the table. His eyes were cold and distant. Like his hatred for me stemmed off of another's. It was not so much personal as if was justified.

The reason for his rage, sat in the seat next to mine. Lilly's eyes were not cold, they were hot and solace. They held sadness and regret. Like some harsh reality was now settling on her shoulders and she was fighting acceptance. Lilly was not so much upset with me as she was with herself. I knew that look. I knew her. And yet, this is the most Lilly she has been since Jasper's arrival. This was a small glimpse of my best friend. It only took my world crumbling for this to happen. For her to get her head out of her ass. To look at me like a person, someone with feeling. With their own problems.

That was the reason Jasper was so irrationally slicing daggers through me. He thinks I am the reason Lilly is upset. He is not wrong. I was her problem. One that she knew I would not let her resolve. There was no solution she could come up with. This bad blood between us, it was unspoken. Neither one of us wanted this, but neither of us can stop it. Lilly and I...

we were going our separate ways.

And perhaps it was for the best. At least that was what the voice that terrified me whispered in that moment of clarity. "There is no reason to bother with those that would sooner throw you out than let you in." I sat and did not look at either of them while putting in my ear buds. They made no move to talk to me. No gestures, no glances, no nudges. I was grateful for it. I was teetering on the edge of a cliff and I had no idea whether I would fall off the edge in front of me or crash to the hard ground behind me.

The class was long and tiresome. I texted me sister and brother periodically during it. Seeing how they were. Their text were short and didn't show any emotion. My brother had stopped responding and I figured he might have been told to put it away. My sister continued to text back. Her teacher was kind to her today. She always got along with the teachers. She was the opposite of a teacher's pet though. She was like my father in that sense. He could get on anyone's good side.