Bittersweet

Old Wounds on Display

Students trickled in one by one. Every time the door opened, my head shot up, waiting to see red hair peek through the doorway. When Mrs. Arnett came through the door, I settled in my seat and focused on the lecture. I didn't see any reason to cover for Lilly, Mrs. Arnett loved her just as much as everyone in this school. And I didn't see any reason to get her involved. Lilly could handle herself. And Jasper didn't seem like much of a threat to her. It looked like she could toss him around like a rag doll based on the fury in her eyes.

I called her twice before any of the students came in. It went straight to voicemail, so I didn't bother texting her. She obviously didn't want to be interrupted.

The teacher was just about finished going over today's agenda when Lilly and Jasper walked in. Their entrance caught everyone's eye. Lilly didn't seem pissed anymore. She smiled at the teacher while apologizing. Saying that Jasper had gotten lost and needed help to find the bathroom. That excuse had everyone talking.

"They were in the bathroom together?"

"When did she get so close to him?"

"Do they know eachother?"

But all I saw was Jasper's unamused expression. It was serious, and he looked at Lilly like he didn't approve of her excuse. He turned away from her and looked towards me. His face going hard then in an instant, unfocused. He was gone, his presence was here, but his mind was somewhere else entirely. I tried to keep my stare blank, but I felt my brows furrow slightly. I couldn't help it. I felt something I had never felt before. I felt possessive. Selfish. And confused beyond belief. Everything in my life had been something I could control. I could understand and come to a consensus on. But not this, not him. He was something out of my world, out of my reach. And I had this sinking feeling as they approached the table and Lilly playfully jabbed him in the side. That he was here to stay. And while I smiled and asked what took her so long, and played the supportive, worried friend. I felt like the opposite. I felt like ripping his head off. 

-     -     -

This anger that I held towards Jasper continued throughout the week. I thought it would pass after the first night. I contemplated it. Wondered how I could turn so hostile towards someone I barely knew. I couldn't be, had no reason to be this infuriated with him. Just because he knew Lilly, just because he joined the duo Lilly and I made in less than a day?

I still had little knowledge of how they knew each other. But apparently, they had been friends in childhood, there had been a misunderstanding and now it was resolved. Just like that, one conversation and they were the best of friends. She quickly explained this to me when class ended and we were packing up. She immediately told me she would see me last period and needed to show Jasper to his second period. They had it together. I wanted to protest, but this situation was uncharted territory for us. It had been us two from day one. Before that, it had only been her with her many acquaintances, and I was flying solo.

I didn't want to pry, and I promised myself I wouldn't. But as I made my way out of the classroom, I doubted I could keep this uneasy feeling to myself.

-     -     -

 The day dragged by at a snaillike pace. By the time fourth period passed, I was itching to confront Lilly. She had never been secretive with me. I knew where she headed for fifth period and decided to tell her I needed to talk to her after school. Her phone was still off, so this needed to happen face to face. I was turning the corner when I heard her laugh. Lilly had an airy and light laugh. One that anyone in this school could recognize.