𝑻 𝑯 𝑬 𝑵 𝑨 𝑵 𝑵 𝒀 (18+)

one.

                              A M A R A

"This project will be worth half your grade. Its purpose is to test your knowledge of what you learned throughout the semester and to—"

I was practically drooling on my hand—eyes rolling in the back of my head while I tried to force the sleep-deprived instruments to stay open. I didn't make sleeping in class a habit, but I just recently upped my hours at my job and it was starting to take a toll on me.

I couldn't sleep in school and I couldn't sleep at home because when it was time to close my eyes, the only thing I could think about was how lonely my father must've been in Maine by himself while his only daughter tried to live out her dreams in California.

I'd been here for a year and yet I still felt like I was only moving backward. Work and school, school and work. Non-stop since I'd turned fifteen and received the unfortunate news that my mother had been diagnosed with bone cancer. I worked my ass off to help my parents pay for her medical bills which meant I had zero ability to spend my money on anything I actually wanted.

Instead of hanging out with friends and going on dates, I was running a restaurant and working jobs til they kicked me out at the end of the night. Then I'd come home and work some more, helping my father take care of mom while he went back to the restaurant to go through bills and do prep for the next day.

I longed for normalcy. A life my friends could envy for once in my fucking life. Only problem was I didn't have any friends because I was never able to maintain them. Nobody wanted to hang out with the girl who had a dying mother and a father that held onto a shitty fucking restaurant that hadn't had decent business in years.

It wasn't always like that, but the competition got fierce and soon no one had a taste for Calvin's catch. They wanted elite dining experiences in areas with notoriety, sending my poor father's business into the grave.

It was a dream of mine to finally give him the restaurant he deserved, in an area where the business wouldn't show any signs of slowing down. Being debt free was also a dream of mine but I knew in my heart I would die with this responsibility. God forbid my father went anytime soon. His debt would be mine and then my children's and my children's children.

I picked up my head and adjusted my posture in my seat. Dreaming seemed nearly impossible for me and the day my mother died—two weeks after my high school graduation—I decided I would spend no more time dreaming. Work and school, school and work. Dreams would come later, goals would come later.

All that mattered right now was work and school, school and work.

"Amara, do you mind hanging back a bit so we can chat?" Professor Kosta waved to the other students leaving her classroom before resting against her desk, uncertainty is written across her face. I could never tell whether she was disappointed with me or proud. Right now, it seemed like a mix between both.

I gathered my things and made my way through the slim line of desks to confront her. I knew this was an art studio but she had to start giving thought to asking the president for a new setup. Wooden desks and chairs during the warmer months were in no way compatible. Some of them weren't even polished over. My poor thighs couldn't handle another accidental lashing from teak wood.

"What's going on with you? You never fall asleep in my class?" The guarded pose fell apart. Now I was left with her hands in the pockets of her overalls, a foot kicked over the other. Her wife worked at the same university as an English professor—she was a big fan of the overalls. If I was lucky she'd walk in and save me from this predictable conversation.