𝑻 𝑯 𝑬 𝑵 𝑨 𝑵 𝑵 𝒀 (18+)

thirty-six

D O M I N I C

I used to hate the sound of an empty house. It wasn't so bad during the day but at night it was almost unbearable. After I left the hospital, when it was well past any reasonable hours to be out on the roads and my kids were dead asleep I'd come into the house dreading the silence. I'd kick off my shoes, grab something to eat in the kitchen, and sit at the table listening to the sound of a settling house while minutes that felt like days flew by. I heard every cricket outside, the sound of wind whipping at my window and creaky floorboards triggered by what I'd never know. It was aggravating. Dull.

To come home and not have anyone to talk to was a cruel punishment I didn't think I'd have the pleasure of experiencing. I knew what a divorce entailed but I didn't think the silence would be so fucking loud. Thankfully when I came home from work now I heard the quiet hum of the tv, giggles on the end of a couch, and spoons scraping the sides of an ice cream carton. Amara filled my silent house with noises I'd grown far too accustomed to and she filled my head with unspeakable acts. My house and my head were no longer silent because of her and out of all the things I could be grateful for I would never stop thanking her for that.

She was sitting on the couch now, knees up to her chest while she aimlessly scrolled for a show to watch on the tv. Part of me thought she spent so much time downstairs in the living room in hopes she'd run into me. After work, for a late night snack, on a sleepless night. Didn't matter what it was she was always there, filling a silence she hadn't known existed.

"Can't sleep?" I asked startling her.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't had any caffeine—I guess it's just nerves." I heard her get up from the couch and walk into the kitchen.

"Yeah? Why are you nervous?" She hopped up on the counter and rubbed her hands against her legs.

"Guess I've just been anxiously awaiting that talk of yours," she smiled and tilted her head. Nodding mine I walked closer to her and pressed both hands beside her on the countertop. She took a deep breath, gaze dropping to my lips before she met my eyes again. She was breathtaking and every moment she bothered to look me in the eye was a blessing. She wasn't one for eye contact but I hoped with a little encouragement she'd give me the pleasure with ease.

"I could tell you exactly what I want to do for you Amara, but I'd much rather hear you tell me what you want from me instead."

"What do I want from you?" Her brows raised and I smiled, "Yes I mean not too long ago you were telling me how put off you were about dating."

She leaned forward just a bit, "and you have spent every second I've known you talking about how far removed you were from the dating scene. What changed?"

Everything, but I knew that wasn't the answer she was looking for. "I believe I told you it would take the right woman to make me want to date again and in my feverish attempts to keep the feeling at bay you Amara have obliterated all rationality. It doesn't make sense to me, you don't really make sense to me but I'd like the chance to figure you out at a pace I think is good for the both of us. I'm not interested in rushing you or myself. That is if you're even remotely interested in me beyond the sex."

She laughed and tapped a finger against the marble, "And if I was just in it for the sex?"

"Oh I'd be devastated but I'm willing to give you that too." I brought my hand to her face and brushed my thumb across her bottom lip, "Whenever you wanted. Right now if you asked me to, right here." I felt like a man starved and right now the only thing that would satiate my hunger was her. Over and over again until there was nothing left of her.