Second Chances

Mary

I had a headache when I woke up on Saturday morning. But a long hot shower, a strong cup of coffee and a couple of Advil helped take care of that.

I took my time getting ready, just because I could, and it felt nice not to have to rush for once. I even managed a quick spin with the vacuum cleaner before it was time to go.

The drive to Eric and Mary's house was uneventful. I drove with the stereo cranked up and it was probably a good thing that there was just me and a few other cars on the road, because I sang along to the radio at the top of my lungs.

At least it kept my mind off of Noah.

Mostly.

Mary opened the door herself before I had time to ring the doorbell.

"Hey, Em. Come on in," she said and gestured for me to step inside.

"Happy birthday."

I handed her the wrapped trilogy I knew she wanted and watched her eyes lit up.   

"Wow, really, Em?" she smiled widely as she tore open the wrapping paper while I unwrapped myself from all the layers of outerwear.

"That's the one, right?" I asked, just to make sure. She had talked about this series the last time I'd been at their house for dinner. It was some kind of vampire story.

"Yes!" She threw her arms around me and gave me an enthusiastic hug. "I can't wait to read it."

I laughed. "I hope Evelyn sleeps good this week."

Mary just groaned.

"Where is she, by the way?" I'd expected her to be waiting for me at the door, which was what she normally did when I came over.

"Going potty."

"Oh." That was new. I had no idea they were potty training her.

"It's brand new," Mary said with a grimace. "Wish I could say it's going better than it is."

"At least Eric is dealing with it and not you," I pointed out.

"There's that," she responded, and we both laughed.

I ended up having a nice time at Mary's birthday celebration, despite being thoroughly quizzed by Eric about Noah. After that session, I was convinced he'd give a federal interrogator a run for their money.

It probably didn't help that I was deliberately vague.

Despite a tense stare down, I didn't say anything about running into Noah the night before and I'm not quite sure why I didn't.

Usually, I told Eric everything. Or almost everything. Maybe it was just because I didn't want to ruin his mood for Mary's birthday party. Or that I didn't want another lecture from my brother on how I should stay away from Noah. I knew all that already.

The problem was that even though I knew I should; I wasn't sure I wanted to. And that, in and of itself, scared me. I should definitely know better.

It was my niece that finally saved me from the interrogation. I scooped her up as soon as she'd been introduced to everyone at the party. We spent some time going through the usual pleasantries with Mary and Eric's friends before we escaped into the family room where all Evelyn's toys were.

We spent the next hour playing with her stuffed animals and her baby dolls. She was such a happy little thing, and she loved her Aunt Em. I, of course, adored her. In my opinion, she was the cutest thing on earth, and nobody could tell me she wasn't.

I especially loved how she reached for me with a quiver of her bottom lip every time her father told her no. Like I somehow overruled whatever he decided.

"You are lucky you are cute running to your aunt like that," Eric chuckled when he told her she couldn't bang her toy car against the glass table.

I had to bite my lip in order not to laugh as Evelyn's big, blue, tear-filled eyes looked up at me.

"We can't bang that on the glass, Evelyn," I explained instead. "It can break and you can get a lot of boo-boos."

She blinked those big eyes at me.

"You don't want boo-boos, do you?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"How about we go read a book in your room instead? We can read the one you like about all the animals."

She had nodded her little head and raised her arms in the air, showing she wanted to get picked up.

We sat on her bed and read her favorite book over and over, making animal sounds at the appropriate places, until Eric told us it was time to eat.

"No," Evelyn said, and pointed to the book.

"Mommy made mac and cheese," Eric tried to entice her. 

"Mm, mac and cheese." I rubbed my belly. "Let's eat some of that and then we can go back and read."

She thought hard about it. My eyes met Eric's. He grinned back at me.

Finally, Evelyn nodded and reached for her father. 

Mary enjoyed cooking, and it showed. The lunch she had made, which included her homemade Mac and cheese, chicken tenders, a gourmet salad, warm bread, and some kind of stir-fry dish, was just as good as it looked.

I took both seconds and thirds. My brother's eyebrows rose higher and higher and he looked shocked.

Maybe he worried I was pregnant. Which I wasn't. No man had been near that area in over a year, and it had been even longer than that since I experienced anything that was considered good.

And, just like that, my mind was back on Noah.

Damit.

I didn't get a chance to read any more books with Evelyn because she fell asleep and was put down for her nap. So instead, I spent some time with a few of Eric and Mary's co-workers.

But as much as I loved my brother and his family, I could only handle their friends in small doses. I had absolutely no interest in discussing issues with their school's budget cuts, or gossip about the new school secretary.

I lasted until the middle of the afternoon. By then, the talk had become all about marriage and babies, and I couldn't deal any longer. I made up an excuse about having to study. It wasn't a total lie. I definitely had a lot of schoolwork to do, but it wasn't a dire need. It just sucked to be the only single person at a party. Whatever happened to talking about careers, travel, or even hiking...

Not that I hiked.

Eric pulled me aside before I left and made me promise I'd let him know if I heard from Noah again. Or if I felt myself begin to get depressed.

I understood that he wanted to try to prevent me from another downward spiral, and I appreciated it. I did. Whether or not I'd keep the promise was a different story.

So far it leaned towards not.

As soon as I got home, I poured myself a large glass of wine and changed into an old pair of sweatpants and an old, but very soft sweater. I had another glass and a half with left over pizza, as I watched some cheesy action movie. Normally I would've watched some romantic comedy, but as it was, I stayed the hell away from that.

I needed to give my mind a rest, not overthink everything related to Noah.

The wine made me tired, and I fell asleep on the couch before the movie ended.