Pills and Pain [Completed]

pain felt good

The pain was excruciating but I loved it at the same time. 

Pain felt good. 

When I pulled my hands back down, there were several strands of hair between my fingers. I brushed them off on my pants and reached into my shirt pocket. I pulled out my box of chiclets and took one out. As soon as I had it opened, I popped it into my mouth and began to chew.

It felt good. Not as good as what I was wanting right then but it filled the void.

"So, you're just going to stay there?"

I stood up and walked to the middle of the living room floor and looked up. McKenzie was standing at the rail of the stairs glaring down at me.

"I didn't know-"

"You see what a basket I am right now and you don't even try to comfort me?"

"I'm sorry."

"Some husband you are."

She disappeared again and I rolled my eyes. I stuck my box of chiclet in my pocket and made my way upstairs.

The door to our bedroom was open. That was a good sign. I walked in and saw her curled up in a fetal position on the bed.

"Hey, there, hon. I'm sorry I didn't come in sooner."

I crawl into the bed beside her and pull the covers up over the both of us.

She whimpers something inaudible and I pull her into my chest, kissing her head.

"It's all going to be alright, baby. I'm right here for you always."

I dragged my kisses down to her soft neck.

She moaned softly which I took for a green light. I moved my hand down to her thigh and continued to kiss her.

All of the sudden she slapped my hand away and wrenched herself free from me.

I snapped out of the daze I had been in from thinking I was finally going to get my fix after all those months.

"What?"

"You're such a sexual pervert," she said sitting up and pulling her knees to her chest.

"What are you even talking about?"

"All you want to do is use my body. You don't care about me."

"McKenzie." I probably sounded like a wounded maniac but I couldn't care less. "That's not true at all. I do care about you."

"Oh, so that's why you were going to rape me?"

"How can you call it rape?"

"You know I wasn't in my right state of mind and you tried to take advantage of me."

Was she ever in her right state of mind? What did 'right state of mind' even mean to her? A notch less of a straight up bitch?

"Get out."

"What? McKenzie, it's my bedroom too."

"Get out, Tristan Michael Ryder or so help me, I will call nine one one right now and tell them you attempted rape. Out."

"Fine. You know what? Have it your way, woman."

Just because I was so mad I ripped my ring off and hurled it through the air. I heard it land with a ting but had no idea where it was. 

Thanks to her, I was harder than a diamond. I stormed out of the bedroom and into the guest bathroom's shower. 

I turned the water as cold as it could go and stood under the freezing drops shivering violently. 

                                                                         ..................

Thirty minutes and many strokes later, I was feeling somewhat better as I got out of the shower. 

I wrapped a towel around my waist and went into the bedroom. I sat down on the edge of the bed and buried my head in my hands. 

I still loved her. 

Even though she pained me in more ways than one. 

But maybe that's why I did love her so much.

Because the pain felt good. 

I took a handful of pills from the guest bedroom nightstand. 

That's where I hid them because I knew McKenzie was never in here anyway.

The pills were the only way I could deal with her and everything in my life. 

The pain felt good, yes, but the pills numbed the pain and that was even better. 

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