A Son Of Two Dad's

Blame Game

Macaque had opened the door to his own room, walking in with his eyes on the torn toy distractedly before he heard a noise, a shuffle, and looked up, surprised to see Wukong on his bed, laid out like a starfish on his belly. 

His mouth opened and then closed, watching as Wukong's chest rose with each inhale for a long minute before finally getting his mouth to close. 

He guessed... that made sense. Wukong hadn't had a place to sleep of his own and Macaque was in MK's room so it made sense that the immortal would use his room instead of sharing with someone else or sleeping outside. 

So yeah, it made sense. So why did he still feel so miffed by it?

Now trapped inside a room with a sleeping Wukong he wasn't sure what to do. Wake him up? Leave? (he wouldn't do that because he absolutely didn't want to see any of the others right now though) 

Wukong stirred, making a soft noise and Macaque went ramrod stiff, still being careful not to hold the plush in his arms too tight as he watched Wukong shuffle slightly before relaxing again. 

Sighing in relief Macaque watched the other a little longer, still not sure what to do until- 

"You gonna stand there watching me all day or you gonna sit down?" 

Macaque startled at the sleepy, amused voice, Wukong's face lifting up from the pillow to raise an eyebrow at him critically while Macaque's face suddenly became extremely hot. 

"What? I wasn't watching you!" He protested, the loudness of it unconvincing enough that when Wukong gave him a judging look he spluttered. 

"I wasn't! That's- What are you doing in my room?" He asked, trying to distract the other. It worked luckily as now it was Wukong who was huffing. 

"Well, you weren't using it! Where else was I supposed to go?" He let his head drop back into the pillow after that, tired of keeping it up and obviously still exhausted. 

Sighing, Macaque resisted the urge to push the immortal off his bed, looking down at the comfy covers and pillows and wishing he were laying down as well. He hadn't even been awake that long and yet his limbs were aching fiercely and he suddenly wished he'd never woken up in the first place.  

His injuries rubbed against the bandages whenever he moved and his eyes felt heavy and sore so his patience that early afternoon was very short. 

"Move over." He grumbled out, too envious of how comfy Wukong looked to even think about the consequences and repercussions of what he'd said. 

"Get your own bed." The other huffed, not moving his head while his voice came out muffled from where he was faceplanted into the pillow. 

"I have my own bed. You're in it." Macaque growled out, patience run out. He was quickly running out of energy though he wasn't sure why. Yes, he'd been exhausted after yesterday but he'd slept longer than he usually did and had only been awake about fifteen minutes. 

"Fine, just be quiet so I can go back to sleep." Normally Wukong would have never agreed, shuffling over so he was closer to the wall and not moving as Macaque sank into bed next to him, laying down on his side facing away. Normally he'd scoff and complain but he just- 

-He hurt. There was a pain in his heart that ached so horridly that he felt like he was either going to scream or cry at any moment. He was bearly keeping it together, feeling vulnerable and unbearably worried. He was good at pretending to be okay, he spent a long time doing it after all, and yet at the moment, his carefree mask felt seconds away from shattering. 

He just wanted to go back to sleep before it happened, much more comfortable with the blank nothingness than the burning grief of being awake. 

He left him. Again. He left MK with a Demon that hated him more than anything and this was all his fault. 

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, glad his face was buried into a pillow when he felt the fabric get wet with tears that had leaked from his eyes without permission. 

The feeling of something deeper than sadness built up inside his chest like a dam and he bit his lip harshly to stop any noise from slipping out.  

How pathetic was he? 

He couldn't seem to pull himself together, crying silently into Macaque's pillow even after having cried for what felt like hours last night. 

"I- it's my fault." Unexpectedly Macaque rushed out next to him after a few minutes of silence, guilt smothering his tone and Wukong stilled, breath pausing as he tried to comprehend the others' confession. 

"What?" He was confused but had a sinking feeling he knew what Macaque was talking about. It made him want to hide deeper under the blankets and ignore it all. He didn't need this conversation. Didn't want this conversation. 

"I- gods Wukong I made you leave!" That made Wukong lift his head, propping himself up on his elbows to stare widely at Macaque, only seeing the others' back from where he was curled up and facing away. Never had he heard the other sound so... emotional. 

"I made you leave MK again." Wukong couldn't even seem to get himself to respond, still just staring with wide eyes as Macaque broke down, his shoulders shaking like he was crying. 

"I was right there. The kid only let his guard down because of me. Only made a deal with that- that monster because he didn't want to leave me." He needed to say something, his own tears having jolted to a stop as his jaw hung open at the hurt and pain in Macaque's tone. He hadn't even thought Macaque was capable of caring about someone as much as it sounded like he did MK. 

Why couldn't he have cared sooner? All those years ago when MK was a baby? 

The thought snaked its' way in, forbidden, ugly, and unwanted. Those thoughts didn't help. He shoved it away as Macaque whispered out one last sentence, voice quiet and filled with a self-loathing Wukong was familiar with. 

"It's all my fault." Wukong realized suddenly that he'd been completely silent while Macaque had spoken, pushing out words that were hard to hear. 

"It's not. It- It's not." He didn't know what else to say, only certain that Macaque was wrong. It wasn't his fault, if anything it was Wukong's for getting himself caught, for needing to be rescued, for having enemies, and for putting everyone he cared about in danger just by caring about them. 

"It's not your fault." He was staring at Macaque who went completely still at his words, eyes hard like he was trying to sear the message into his brain, his tone firm and absolute. 

Silence followed but Sun Wukong didn't move, didn't look away from Macaque's bandaged back, his heartbeat loud in his ears, every tiny sound vibrating loudly in the small space. He couldn't imagine how it must have felt for Macaque. 

Eventually, Macaque's voice spoke, low and soft and quiet and all too knowing.

"It's not your fault either, you know." 

(I swear they both have guilt complexes bigger than a freaking whale or something. At least they can bond over their mutual self-hatred lol. I hope you enjoyed and I'll be back soon! Let me know your thoughts and have a great day!)