A Son Of Two Dad's

I Do Adore

Choosing not to respond knowing full well nothing he said would make Macaque realize it was his fault Wukong let his face drop back into the pillow instead, his head tilted sideways so he could still see the back of Macaque.

So far he'd been woken up by Macaque and had spent the whole time with his mind focussed on said person, putting everything he had into concentrating on the here and now, on the person beside him and not the person missing.  

It had been easier than allowing himself to wake up the same way he'd fallen asleep, his heart aching so terribly that he thought he was dying from heartache, his eyes wet with unstoppable tears and chest tight with a flooding panic.

Now his chest felt empty and as he stared at Macaque's back he couldn't help but feel utterly alone. Which was stupid. There was someone right there! 

"We're gonna get him back." He muttered, mostly to himself but Macaque would have heard it anyway. He had to believe that. Didn't think he'd be able to function if he didn't. He just hurt so much, wishing on everything and anyone that his kid was okay, that they'd get him back sooner rather than later.  

Why did it feel like he was four seconds away from tearing himself apart in his anguish, sure if he was in any more pain he'd fall apart there and then?

"What if we're too late?" Macaque had breathed out, the words cutting straight through Wukong's internal dilemma and leaving him colder than stone. 

His mouth opened, feeling heavy and dry but before he could get any words out Macaque rolled over so he was on his back, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. He didn't look at Wukong, who was silently grateful because he wasn't sure he looked very put together at that moment.  

"We- we won't be. She's... she won't kill him cause she knows she can use him against me." Something that usually would be a terrible thing was now a thought of comfort. He was pretty sure she'd keep him alive- after all, why go through all that trouble to possess him just to kill him when she could have easily killed him straight away in the first place? 

"There are other ways to hurt a person than death." Was Macaque's morbid, all too knowing response, and Wukong felt that small comfort die inside him, fear all but paralyzing his mind. 

Why couldn't he have been there? Why couldn't he have stopped her? Why hadn't he been strong enough? His chest hurt enough that he felt like he was going to cry but no tears came, eyes suspiciously dry after the endless hours' tears had been falling from them.   

He closed his eyes and pictured MK, his sweet, kind, bright boy screaming, and then quickly shut the thought down, eyes flinging open, sure that his imagination would break him if he saw anymore. 

He thought maybe he started shaking slightly, eyes wide and unseeing as his claws dug into the sheets beneath him. He'd never been more terrifying in his life. 

A hand grabbed his own, movement pulling him out of that void and making him blink, eyes sliding down to where Macaque had grabbed his hand, fingers tightly interlocking. He stared then blinked again, looking back up to Macaque's face, feeling like he wasn't really processing what was happening as he found Macaque still staring at the ceiling, his expression hard to read. 

The grip was tight but grounding and he found himself unable to move away, simply holding the demon's hand back and giving it a firm squeeze. It was stupid but now that Macaque's hand was holding his he felt like he'd disappear or crumble if he let go so he didn't, letting his face sink back into the pillow and his eyes close as he focussed on that pressure, sure it was the only thing keeping him from screaming. 

Macaque hadn't planned on grabbing Wukong's hand, sure he'd be punched (rightfully so) in the jaw if he ever did but he could hear the immortal's heartbeat racing painfully quickly, could feel the way he trembled in place and the way his claws caught on the bedsheets and had simply reacted without thinking, gripping his hand in a careful movement.    

Immediately Wukong stopped shaking and he could see in his peripheral vision the way the other looked down at their hands, surprise, confusion, and something else coloring his face. He made sure to keep his expression neutral as the other glanced back up at him, keeping his eyes trained only on the ceiling before finally relaxing when the other eventually settled. 

He could tell because his heartbeat and breaths that had been so loud before because something less erratic, less panicked, and as minutes passed by quietly he could hear the way it slowly got slower and more evenly paced, eventually leveling out when he was asleep.  

Now slightly more alone Macaque turned to face Wukong, watching as the other's face twitched every now and then in restful sleep. 

His eyes traced the markings on the others face, lazily following the pinker coloring past the bridge of his nose as he thought about MK's similar markings, that same heart shape they both shared that was one of the things Macaque found he liked. 

It was almost fitting, them sharing that shape, a heart, since they both shared their love so deeply and seemingly so easily. It didn't feel easy for Macaque who had no friends, no family, and no attachments. Well, except MK. He seemed to always be the exception for Macaque. 

It was also fitting because they were both so easy to love, he thought absentmindedly, feeling himself smile ever so slightly when Wukong's nose scrunched up again just a little.

Breath stopping Macaque jolted, his eyes going wide as what he'd thought crashed into him again and again and again. He went over that sentence one more time before shaking his head in denial.

He didn't love Sun Wukong. Definitely not. He wasn't even sure he loved MK. He just cared about the kid and didn't want anything bad to happen to him and would slaughter anyone who tried and would protect him even if it killed him and couldn't live without him and- oh. He did love MK, didn't he? That's what love was, wasn't it? That soft feeling he got when MK smiled, that desire to protect him, that overwhelming fondness and need to keep him close, that pride whenever the kid did practically anything. 

That was love. 

He'd already known he was attached to the kid, had already known he cared but love? It felt so much more... terrifying almost. 

He hadn't loved anyone in a long, long time. 

It was a lot. It made everything just so much more real, so much more fragile.

Well, he mused softly, if anyone could make him love again of course it would have been MK. 

(Yeah Macaque, you go ahead and just ignore how you said you loved Wukong and was watching him all fond-like. Pretending it didn't happen by distracting yourself with MK doesn't mean we missed it. But we did get Macaque having the emotional knowledge of a rock. Like yeah buddy, we know you love MK, it was pretty damn clear! Too bad Macaque is emotionally constipated and stupid.

I hope you guys enjoyed! I thought we deserved a bit of softness after all the angst I'd been throwing at you in the past couple chapters. Also I'm feeling better now so expect updates as usual.)