Death wish [Xiao's past story]

4

He took me to his home. It was a big house in the middle of nothing. I love the nature in here. There's a lot of mountains and the whole land gives Autumn vibes. He said it's called Liyue.

,,This is going to be your room." he said while he was opening the door. It looked nice. My room wasn't that bad before but this one is much nicer. It's cleaner and there is a calm energy that I need for sure.

,,Thank you." I said quietly.

,,You can rest for a while and then we can have meal together." I nod and come inside the room. He closes the door and I just stand alone there and look around. I feel like if I move I'd break the warm vibe. There is a bed under window where I can see the slow sunset. There is also one closet and a table with chair. There's some clear paper and a pencil next to it. The room in general isn't big but it's cozy.
I lay down in bed and close my eyes to get some short nap, but after my brain turned off from all of the thoughts I fell into sleep.

***

I woke up with a quiet scream. I'm covered in sweat and I'm breathing hardly. Another nightmare. I'm used to them but this was rather a real memory than some imagination. And that's even worse. Real things are the worst.

,,Alatus, the food is ready!" I heared steps. I guickly got up from my bed and tried to wipe off the sweat from my face to my hands and calm my fastly beating heart. He knocked on the door and after a few seconds he came in. I was just standing there.

,,Are you okay?" he asked. I just nod.

,,Did you get some sleep?" I again just nod.

,,Fine. Then let's go down to eat." so we went. I sit down and he put some food in front of me. Some meat, salad and rice. It looks nice, but I don't understand why would he give me such fancy food. He doesn't know me.

,,What is it? You don't like this meal?" he asked after I've been observing it for a little too long. I shook my head and had a bite. It was delicious, but I didn't want to show that on my face. But it felt really refreshung to have a food like this.

,,No need to eat everything if you don't want to. I don't know what food you'd been eating before, but by looking at you I don't think it was a proper meal so don't get sick." but he almost didn't even finish and the plate was empty. He rolled his eyes and I started blushing a little. It was so embarrassing. How could I suddenly eat the whole thing?!

,,Okay then. Do you mind if I ask you some things? Or you don't feel like that?" he sat in front of me. I looked at him for a few seconds. I love the calm in his eyes. I slowly nod and he put his hands on the table with palms down.

,,So... You killed people, right? Innocent people." I nod.

,,And you knew you were killing them, right? You weren't under some spell." I nod.

,,Then why?" I had to think. I didn't want to answer, but he gave me some food and a nice bed so I guess i owe him at least my words.

,,He cursed me... He said if I wouldn't do as he said he'd kill 50 thousand innocent people." This time he nods and gets up. I want to disappear. I deserve it. I killed so many people, I broke so many hopes... But now it's too late to take it all back.

,,Alatus..." he came so near to me. He took my head to his arms and forced me to look at him.

,,From now on you're okay. You're safe. Noone will harm you anymore."

No. He's lying.

That's all that went through my head. I quickly jumped up from the chair, took a knife from the table and threw it directly at him. I don't even know if I missed, but I pushed him aside and rushed outside. I cannot live like this anymore! I can't bear any more lies.

So I ran.