Death wish [Xiao's past story]

5

After a few minutes I looked back to check if he's running after me. He didn't so I dared to go a little slowly. I'm still not that healthy to run that much.

I sit on the grass. Where am I going? I know no one who could help me. I'm all alone and I can't trust anyone. Not even myself. I look up and realize that the sky is so pretty. I can't remember when it was the last time I saw the sky full of stars. How come this whole place is so calming?

Suddenly I heared steps. It was him. I quickly jumped up and wanted to run, but he was quicker and he grasped me by my hands. I started fighting. I wanted to get free from him. I don't want to fall into the same abyss.

,,Heyy calm down. I'm not mad I don't want to hurt you just calm down okay?" but I didn't. But I wasn't strong enough and I quickly got tired so I had to stop. I noticed a blood stain on hic clothes, but he seemed fine. This means only one thing - punishment.

,,Look at me." only now I realized how tall he is when he had to bend down to be on the same level as I am.

,,I don't want to harm you. What happened?"

,,You're a liar!" I screamed, but my voice betrayed me and it cracked.

,,If I was I'd already harm you, don't you think?"

,,Let me go..." he sighted and lifted me up and started carrying me back. I wanted to fight, but I'm just so tired.

He went to my room and put me on the bed.

,,You're confused. Get some sleep. Morning is wiser than the night." he blew out a candle that was the only light in here and closed the door. I can't see anything but the sky outside the window. It's so beautiful, but I can't fall asleep. What if he gets angry and comes back? Maybe he is angry and just plays he isn't. And because of so many thoughts I let the dreams to swallow me again.

***

I'm slowly going down the stairs. I'm scared he might have made up his mind. I came to kitchen from where I can smell some nice food. I slowly open the door.

,,S-sir?" I peeped. He turned to see me and smiled warmly.

,,Just call me Morax." I nod.

,,A-are you angry?" I asked slowly.

,,I said I'm not, silly. Did you have a good sleep?" I nod.

,,Good. Come and let's have breakfast." he put plates with food on the table. We sat and started eating. It was a little awkward at first, but then we started talking. And we talked a lot. I told him about the horror I went through. I didn't want to, but his eyes... it feels like if I tell him everything it will disappear.

He stood up and hugged me. Disgusting, I thought. I don't think anyone had ever done that. And I don't like it... I guess. He patted my head.

,,Your hair are really long. Do you mind if I cut it a little?" I nod. They really are long. They end somewhere on my back, but I don't really care.

He brought scissors and a brush and started with the work. It was hard to brush them, but he was really gentle. And then he started cutting it.

,,You have a few green strands of hair in the front." he noticed.

I nod: ,,I got them when I started using my magic." he wanted to see, so I conjured a sphere of my magic into my hand. It's green and black.

,,It used to be greener, but after killing so many people it got stained." he observed it.

,,That's the karma you're bringing with you."

,,My what?" I put my hand down so the spear disappeared.

,,You don't know?" he continued on cutting my hair.

,,I know that people can see from my eyes I'm a killer so they are scared of me."

,,No it's not just in your eyes. People can unconsciously feel it from you. I don't think I've ever felt such a strong karma as is yours. But that's because you regret it, so your karma gets more polluted." I didn't know. So in the end I deserve to be alone.

,,And what about you?" I asked and he smiled. He probably didn't expect this question.

,,Of course I'm not scared. I can feel it but I'm not a human just like you so it doesn't have any effect on me." he explained. He put down the scissors and put a mirror to my hands.

,,I look.... Different." and I really did. My hair look much healthier. Now they are only under my chin so they don't get to my way that much. I generally look more healthier even after one day.

,,Alatus.." he started seriously and looked to my eyes: ,,You have a scary and painful past. And that came to an end. I've changed your appearence a little, but that's not enough... You need a whole new name. Your killing era is only a past." I slowly nod as I was trying to process the words.

,,Then how should I be called?"

He gently took my cheeks to his palms: ,,I shall call you Xiao."