Not To Give Away The Ending, But It's Gonna Be Okay.

Chapter 7

I pulled back, breathless.
"Sorry," I mumbled. I turned away from him, ready to go home, curl into a ball, and die. You don't just do something like that! I deserve to die! Why would I do that?!
But one thought protruded the others. Wow, his ex-girlfriend was wrong.
"It's okay," Patrick said, picking up my hand and holding it. I turned back to him. "Really, it's okay. I promise." He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly.
I don't know why. I really don't. But that was when I lost it. I felt more broken than I had before. Maybe it was because I was experiencing true love for the first time. The feeling was foreign to me. And foreign doesn't even begin to describe how much I didn't know it.
I buried my face in my hands, crying. Everything seemed too good for me. I don't deserve Patrick.
I don't deserve happiness.
"Y/N, shh, shh, it's okay," Patrick said, sliding an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him. "I'm here, you have me."
"But, Patrick," I said in between sobs. "I know I do. But I don't deserve you. I'm a horrible person."
"You know that's not true! Have you ever killed anybody?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"Physically harmed someone seriously?"
"Besides myself, no."
He nodded solemnly.
"Have you ever cut yourself?" He whispered.
I didn't answer, which was an answer within itself.
"Y/N, I saw your scars." His voice was soft, yet stern.
I hung my head.
"When?" I whispered, knowing it was when he took off my kimono. It was just something to say.
"When we got back here from the park."
"Oh" was all I could say.
"Let me see them again," he said. His tone indicated that it was not up for debate.
I held my arms up slowly, rolling up the sleeves of his red sweater.
"When was the last time you did this?" He asked quietly. I didn't have to think to know the answer.
"Two nights ago." Tears were welling up in my eyes already, and I cursed myself for being so weak.
Patrick brought a hand to his face and swiped it below his eye.
"Why do you do this?" He asked. His voice cracked.
"I hate myself." I answered. "That's why I starve myself. That's why I do this." I looked away from him. "I want to die."
"No." His voice was louder and more commanding. He took my face in his hands and spoke again. "That's not okay. You can't just say things like that. You're a beautiful young girl with her whole life ahead of her, and if you take it away now..." His voice cracked again.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. His warm hands were still cupping my cheeks.
"I love you, Y/N. I can't stand to see you hurt."
I looked up at that.
"I really, really love you," he continued. "Okay?"
"I don't want you worrying for me." I said.
"Too bad."
I put my arms around his neck slowly, bringing my face up to his. Our lips connected, a slow kiss now.
His fingers flowed down from my cheeks to my chin, then down to the small of my back. I ran a hand through his light hair, feeling his tongue slightly slide across my lower lip.
I don't know how to kiss, I thought. Oh no, I'm going to mess up. Oh no oh no oh no.
Maybe he sensed my panic, because he pulled back for a second to whisper "Relax." I nodded softly.
Our lips met again and we pushed ourselves further, softly playing at each other with our tongues.
And of course, that's when the phone rang.
Patrick pulled back first, sighing.
"Sorry," he said.
"It's okay." I replied.
He answered the phone, but this time he didn't put it on speaker.
"Yeah. Oh...that's not good. Are you going to the hospital? Okay. All night? Okay. When will you be back? All right. See you then. Bye."
Patrick hung up and sighed.
"Well, Jonah's not doing well so they have to stay over for the night. They don't have to take him to the hospital though, so that's good."
"What's wrong with him?" I asked.
"We don't know," he replied. "They're taking him to a specialist next week." He paused, and when I didn't say anything, he continued. "Do you want to stay the night?"
I was surprised by the question. Of course I wanted to. It didn't seem all that right, though...
Oh well.
"Let me call my parents," I said.