The Tale of David Patrick Gardner

The Plan

It was agreed that for the time being they would refrain from being seen together in public. And even though Katy knew it was best to host their rendezvouses at her place, no roommates, no open ears that might mistakenly hear a little too much and become curious, she also felt cooped up spending so many hours at home, alone, and so she decided to take David up on his offer of ciders on the roof. She stopped at the store and bought two six packs on the way to her partner's place.

It was a beautiful fall evening, and from the roof you could see the mountains painted against a darkening sky in distance.

They sat in plastic chairs and drank at a fast pace while watching the sun set. Picturesque.

"So, I know I said that I didn't think I could do it again, ya know, killing, but I've been thinking, and I'm pretty sure I have a way we could do it, but do it the right way this time, with a plan."

David perked up, leaning forward in his chair.

"Well, it would actually be two people. Jason and this girl."

"A girl?"

"Yes, what do you think about that?"

"I don't know. We'd do them together?"

"What do you mean- do them?"

"Kill them."

"Okay, good, that's what I thought you meant. And yes, we'd kill them at the same time. Here's the plan. Jason always goes to his family's cabin in the mountains the first weekend of November, there's this stupid beer festival or fair or something near by. I'm sure he'll bring Maggie, just like he brought me the last two years. Anyway, the cabin is down this long lonely country road. I say we put a tree in the way to block them and then drive in behind, they'll be trapped, stuck, with no one around to hear their screams. So what do you think?"

"Sounds good to me." He would've said Yes to anything she suggested.

"So we'll do it then?"

"Yes."

Katy grabbed his jaw harshly and forced his face to hers. She kissed his mouth and reached for his prized possession. She loved feeling it grow while she massaged it through his pants.

"Whatcha guys doing up here?" questioned Miles, appearing rooftop, and once again interrupting David as he was becoming aroused.

Katy let out a disappointed sigh, before stating, "Hello, Miles. We were making out, but I guess we'll behave and go back to drinking our ciders. Want one?"

"Sure, thanks."

Miles sat down without a chair, back against the chimney, facing the two killers.

"Did you hear what we were talking about?" asked David, with an out of place earnestness.

"No, why?"

"Oh, good. Because if you heard what we were talking about then we'd have to kill you," he continued, before bursting out with a moment of uncomfortable laughter.

Katy sat frozen. Not wanting to react and give anything away.

"Good one. You're funny, man," replied the roommate. Everyone seemed to relax a bit.

They sat drinking. Miles doing most of the talking. Detailing the press about his former band, cursing them and the manager who had so betrayed him.

After recounting, for Katy's sake, the opening night of Velvet Jupiter's tour, and the unfortunate ending of being tossed from the venue, he asked David, "Want to learn to drive, man? I could teach you down at Manguson park using my van. Shit, man, you're old enough, you should learn."

"You should do it, David. It could be useful, if you get what I mean," said a tipsy Katy, winking at her man.

"Yes, okay. I think I'd like that. Thank you."

The three of them drank until both six packs were vanquished. Katy wanted to stay and finally fuck David, or at least try, assuming it would fit. But the thought of doing it in what was essentially a well maintained den of degenerate drug addicts caused her to hold off. She drove home, maybe slightly above the legal limit, maybe slightly below, either way, she made it back to her place without incident. Another night of freedom, a killer roaming the streets.

David slept alone, like always. The difference now being that when clinging onto a pillow and imagining it was a person, he felt that there was some reasonable possibility that it could really happen, that it wasn't just some far fetched fantasy without a face created over the phone.

In the early morning, before the sun rose, David heard a banging on his bedroom door. It was Miles, bloodshot eyes, jaw in motion, jiggling his keys. He had gotten hold of enough meth to power him through the night and into the morning.

"Ready for your driving lesson, brother?"

"What?"

"Throw some clothes on. We talked about this. I'm going to teach you to drive. Let's go."

For whatever reason, David agreed and quickly got dressed. It wasn't yet six am. They got into the van and Miles started driving for the abandoned Navy base turned public park. His attention was barely on the road, he looked at his phone, adjusted David's shirt, removed a rock from his shoe, did a bump, retrieved a bottle of water from the back seat, and somehow managed to avoid a collision and arrive at their destination.

Miles was a surprisingly effective teacher. He gave a rundown of everything there was to know before letting David get behind the wheel. They drove in circles around the empty park. David was genuinely thrilled. He got great pleasure from intentionally pressing the brake a bit too hard and sending Miles sliding forward in his seat.

"Okay, very funny, but no more fucking around with the brakes. Only brake like that when you have a big tittied bitch riding shotgun and you want to grab a handful," said Miles, before drinking from a warm beer that he'd found rolling around the backseats.

"Think you've got what it takes to drive back to our place?"

"No, you better do it."

"Pussy."

David shifted into park and they both exited the vehicle to swap seats. Passing by each other, an inebriated Miles reached out and embraced David in a friendly, congratulatory manner.

"You did good. You'll be driving on the streets in no time. Just need a bit more practice."

"Really? Was it a job well done?"

"Job well done."

David smiled the whole ride home.