dance in the sun 〖 the outsiders 〗

the "mixed" signals

I wave goodbye to Johnny and Sodapop (who gave me the ride home since Johnny doesn't drive) and a nervous smile was on my face. I watched the truck ride away from the setting sun and sighed. It was so nice out this evening, there was a chill but it was still the perfect temperature and a part of me wasn't ready to retreat into my home. I wished our day didn't have to end.

But it did, and I was greeted by an excited Sherri as soon as I made my way into the house and took my shoes off at the door. "Lena!" Sherri calls. Whenever Sher or me has a big date, we always wait in the living room for the other. It was a little ritual for us at this point. We always had to discuss the guy and neither of us would ever miss it.

"Sher!"

"Tell me all about it!" I know I wasn't as energized as she probably thought I would be and she changed her demeanor as I made my way to the couch. Tea was already sitting on the coasters of the long coffee table, ready for us to share, and there was already a soft gray blanket to get comfortable under. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, plopping down on the couch beside my sister, "He doesn't like me. Not like I like him, at least."

"Oh stop, why would you think that?"

I stuck my legs underneath the blanket, resting them right on top of Sherri's and the details of the night replayed in my head.

We went to Shuffles, a spot downtown where you can eat and play games, and we had fun playing cards and board games. Johnny won more than me which was a little frustrating but I had to tone down my competitive edge for tonight. I giggled as I explained to Cherry what it was like when we were there, sharing food and laughing together, enjoying each other's company. Then we went rollerskating. I'm not the best at roller skating but Johnny was a natural, he said he used to go when he was younger. I held on to him a lot since he was a lot more steady than I, we were really close and when I started to get the hang of it I was able to move along with the music. Another smile took over my face as I tell Cherry all about how we held hands and I would grab him tightly when I almost fell.

"Almost?" She questioned with a giggle.

"Okay, okay I fell once or twice... or four times but I laughed it off! I kept getting better."

"Lena, I'm confused. It seems like y'all had a fun time."

I groaned at how dense Sherri sounded. "Of course we had a great time! But Sher, he didn't wanna tell me anything about him. Whenever I'd ask about his family or friends or school or what he likes to do, he just gave me a basic answer and flipped the question onto me. I even told him I felt like he's holding back and you know what he said?"

"What?"

"He just said that he didn't know what to say!"

It looked like something clicked in her head and she nodded and chuckled; she's gonna go all big sister on me now. "So he didn't wanna tell you about his private life and so he didn't like you."

"Exactly!"

"Marlena," she said, sounding a bit serious, "Johnny was a sweet kid but real quiet, real to himself. That was before everything happened. He's probably just not comfortable tellin' you all that yet."

"But I told him."

She scoffed; "You'll tell the mailman your life story, Lena." I nodded in agreement as she continues, "Those guys think differently about us. He probably just don't want you to look at him a certain way."

"I told him I could handle it, I wouldn't be mean or change how I feel; he met my friends!"

"Yeah, but he still don't know that for sure yet and he's not gonna be just like your friends"

"I still don't think he likes me."

"Do you still like him?"

In my head, I know I do. I don't wanna seem weird and keep going for him, though, if he's not gonna feel the same. But man, I just wish he felt the same. "Not if he don't like me."

"So yeah?"

"Of course I do, Sherri, but what do I do?"

Cherry, always patient and sensible, responds with, "You go out some more, don't be so overbearing, and just enjoy bein' with him. Do the one thing you can never seem to do: take it slow and steady."

I sighed, raising my cup of this delicious tea she had sitting on the table, and leaned back into the fluffy cushions of our couch. She's right.

"You know I'm right."

"Oh shut up, you know I know."

After also taking a sip of tea, she smiled and asked, "So when are y'all going out again?"

I blushed and smiled again. "He asked me to see a movie with him this weekend."

"Aw, see you say he don't like you but he asked you out again!"

"It could've been a pity date," I interjected, quickly. "Like the guy felt like he had to."

Sherry threw a glare my way, before saying to me, "Don't do that, he could be into you."

I stopped arguing and thought about the idea that maybe he possibly could wanna go with me. He'd be different than the other guys. Usually I bring the loud guys, sometimes plain assholes, even, the guys who don't care to ask you too much about your day and who may party a little too much. Johnny is very different, so maybe slow and steady will be better for both of us.