mama do you ever put me to sleep
and think if I never woke up again?
do you ever think maybe killing me
is the only way to end my pain?
I'm swallowing thick clouds every day
I'm so broken it hurts my bones
if you could save another life trying
to save mine I could die alone
thick clouds everywhere
when I try to eat my jaw begins to ache
I cry with her in my arms and cradle my pain
and she tells me that it's like an earthquake
her world is shattered when she's with me
thick clouds in her eyes and I suffocate
I'm a walking disaster waiting to happen
"I'm a grenade", mother, ready to detonate
"just a spoonful, just a spoonful" of thick clouds
sweeter poison but it'll help me breathe
spend a fortune and choke on a spoon
it shook my faith and I still fucking bleed
fish in a pond, my pills in syrups
I've become a walking drug store
thick clouds down my throat, god
won't you hurt me fucking more
there's poison in my bloodline
happiness is a fucking phase
crying next to my mother
but she's too busy to see my face
drinking rivers of sweeter poison
"just thirty-five more pills every day
just a spoonful, just a spoonful-"
I'm just a spoonful of poison away
- madeeha anwar
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Bleeding Pen ~ disorders and poetry
Poetry~ disorders and poetry ~ a collection of lyric poems, mostly on romance, melancholy, angels and demons including short excerpts too now © Madeeha Anwar
