The Writer Journey

Setbacks, challenges and mistakes in the journey

seven_hues asked the question "Can you discuss your mistakes, challenges and setbacks you faced, and how did you face and overcome them?".... which is a big question, so I'll try my best ;)

I guess the first thing I should say is that I don't think publishing a book means you suddenly don't have any of these mistakes or setbacks disappear if anything, sometimes it feels like MORE pressure. Now I have a deadline for the second book, a sales history, and  I feel more pressure to find an agent. So in some ways I just feel like publishing one book is part of the whole journey, and I will continue to face challenges and setbacks. 

But sense that doesn't answer the question, I will say one of the best way to overcome the many challenges of being a writer is to focus on all the good (and lower your expectations). There are so many amazing sides to having my book  out in the world. I get feedback and criticism that I can use to make my next book better, and I also get the incredible, mind-bending experience of people reading my book who don't know me, and LOVED THE BOOK?! Like, what!?!?! It still blows my mind every time I get a message from someone I've never met who found the book and loved it. The Last She is out in France now, and I feel almost gleeful every time someone posts a French review of it. (Can I read said review? Nope! Still makes me smile tho ;)

Let me be super clear and say that you DONT have to have a published book out to focus on the good! It took me almost 10 years into the author journey to see my book on a book shelf. I think if you can focus on the joy the journey brings you, and the sheer joy of writing and creating, it will make you a much happier writer. 

Another tip is to lower your expectations and again, remember that comparison is the thief of joy. Of course there are times I wish I hit a bestseller list, or some celebrity picked up my book and decided to promo it, and I don't think it's wrong to wish for those things, but if you set your expectations on things you can't control, you set yourself up for disappointment. So instead I try to focus on what I can control: writing the best book I can, and marketing it in ways that I enjoy. 

As I think more on it, I guess the biggest setbacks and challenges I face all come from myself. From trying not to compare to others, from feeling like a total fraud, from looking at my writing and hating it, from wondering why the heck I'm not making more money and feeling like everyone else is. There is also the enormous challenge of now being a mother, and feeling guilty when I take writing time, and feeling like I'm not doing my share of helping my family financially. I think everyone knows these are hard economic times, and of course sometimes it crosses my mind that I could pursue some other job that makes more money and helps my family more. None of these are easy things to deal with. There is also the joy every writer knows of wonderful family and friends comments. People will say things that they don't be mean to be cutting (oh, you're still doing that? how much money do you make? Do you have a movie yet? it's nice you don't have to have a real job. Is this a real job or just a hobby? Do you really have enough writing work to keep you busy?) All these little comments add up over time. I try my best to just smile and nod--people don't mean them in a hurtful way. Hold to your own convictions, trust yourself, and let what other people say and think go. (Or heck, you're a writer, turn them into a character ;)

Basically I'm not sure how I deal with all of this besides being so pig-headed I refuse to give up... and also knowing that writing is like therapy to me. I need it in my life, even if I'm not making that much money from it. 

 Writing certainly isn't "fair"--and trying to compare yourself to others and figure out why someone with what you felt with wasn't a great book is now a huge bestseller with movies and riches, and why your writing isn't seeming to go anywhere isn't helpful. In the words of the worst franchise ever, you've got to learn to "stay in your own lane". (That was a terrible Bachelor reference ;)

Maybe the best thing I can do is share with you all this kinda dark poem I wrote awhile back when I was doubting EVERYTHING. 

Sometimes I think I can't do this anymore

I think, why is this so hard?

How much longer am I going to keep trying?

How much longer am I going to keep spinning my wheels and going nowhere.

Maybe I like the torture though.

I know I like the end product. I like, no I love, stories. I love people who can tell them well. I love that something that exists first only in my head becomes words, those words mark paper, and those marks somehow become a new story, a new vision in someone's head.

It's hard sometimes to encourage myself. I get so down. I feel like everything I write is crap, and that I never always be a failure.

Instead of trying to cheer myself up, I try to think what I would say to another young writer who came to me discouraged and asked for advice.

I'd tell them that it's about the journey, that's where the joy lies. Yes, there is pride and joy in the accomplishment, but no one thinks about waiting till death to enjoy life, so you shouldn't wait till the day your holding your book in your hands to enjoy creating that story. Its' hard, but you CAN do hard things. In fact, doing hard things is how you grow as a person, and the fact that it's hard means your improving, your writing is improving, and you shouldn't give up, because someone out there in the world needs your story.

I will never share this poem

Wow, well that took a dark turn. ;) I was going to apologize for this being rambling, but I'm not going to, cause I'm trying to do that less. 

Let me know if you have anything to add, or more questions and I'll keep adding to the book. 

Best,
Hannah

p.s. Don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter--I've got some exciting things coming up, and I'll be sharing the first few pages on my second book, THE LAST CITY, on the last day of the month!