Kintsugi

Chapter 21

Three weeks later, two letters arrived in the mail from Roman. One addressed to Marlena, and the other addressed to John. Marlena looked at them both in her hand, before placing John's on the counter, and quietly walking to the couch with the one intended for her. Unsealing it, she sighed heavily, staring towards the window as the morning sunlight streamed through, only too aware that she probably wasn't going to like the contents of this letter.

Thinking back to everything Roman had missed, hurt a lot. Sami and Carrie had been through so much without him. While Roman's insistence on a divorce had hurt Marlena, she understood now that John had been right. They were inevitable. If Roman had not divorced her, and she had tried to make it work, she and John would have almost certainly had another affair, causing further damage to her family. They were healing now, slowly, but most assuredly healing.

Sami was nearing six months pregnant, and Lucas had taken the news rather well. Although they were both young, they were both committed to the road that lay before them. Sami was maintaining her grades, while dealing with some peer issues over being a pregnant senior in high school. Lucas was a freshman in college. Carrie had surprised the whole family by eloping with Austin. It wasn't a typical Brady wedding, but the celebration that followed was definitely a Brady party. Roman was missing it all. Not just the good stuff, he had missed everything, and Marlena wasn't sure his children would ever forgive him for not being available during some of the hardest parts of their lives.

Eric coming home last week had been the biggest shock of all. She'd called him to tell him that she was marrying John, and that John had found out about his past. Eric was elated at finding out that John was his uncle. That bond that he had with him, and his guilt over never being able to fully accept Roman, was what had kept Eric away for so long. She knew that now. She had told him she missed him, and she wanted him home, with little hope of him actually coming back to Salem. Two days later, her almost grown, baby boy, showed up at the loft while everyone was having breakfast. Sami cried, and Brady and Belle were introduced to their big brother. He had decided to stay at the pub with Shawn and Caroline, since the loft was already crowded with her, John, Sami, Brady, and Belle. They were bursting at the seams, but Marlena had decided that she couldn't ever go back to the penthouse. Ever.

She looked down at the paper in her hand, and began to read:

Marlena,

I had an interesting conversation with Pop last night. I'll be honest with you, I'd like Pop and John to get a DNA test, just to be sure. Lots of people have their feelings involved in this, and I know better than most most the kind of tricks Stefano can play. Ma and Pop seem to think there was some kind of divine intervention at play here, and I know they are staunchly Catholic, but this seems a bit far fetched to me.

Ma was telling me that you were possessed, by a demon, and they had to do an exorcism. I mean, I know I've been out of touch for awhile, Doc, and I don't want to say she's lying, but maybe...well, maybe the truth just got skewed somewhere? I don't know. I honestly don't know. I just have a hard time believing that you were levitating, and had mysterious writing on your stomach.

I don't call home in over a year, because I'm on an undercover case, and when I finally touch base, wow. Now I know that's nobody's fault but mine, but I had a whole awful lot of information dumped on me in one telephone conversation. I guess, I'll be writing to Carrie tonight, to congratulate her on the wedding.

And, I'm guessing Sami got pregnant when you were dealing with the demon stuff. I gotta say, I'm pretty disappointed with some of the stuff that's happened in my absence. I was hoping that some time apart might be good for us, maybe you might realize how good we were together, but Pop says you're going to marry John. I know you're probably thinking that I divorced you. But honestly, Doc, that was a mistake. I knew it as soon as I signed the papers, but my pride got in the way, so I left. If I'd stayed, if we had tried to work on it...I don't know, maybe it would have worked. Or maybe it would have just prolonged the inevitable.

Ma seems to think that you two are doing some kind of emotional healing together. I got all confused when she started talking about pottery, and something Japanese, she said you told her about. If John's helping you deal with whatever you went through, well, I guess that's a good thing. I just can't be there to watch it happen. I know I'm not the most supportive or empathetic person, so it's probably best. I remember after we rescued you from the pit, I didn't know how to deal with your emotions and the nightmares. I probably pushed you right towards John, now that I think about it. I sure pushed Carrie out of the house with my rules, since they "weren't what she grew up with".

Maybe I deserve that. You marrying John. I left, all this crazy shit happened, and I sure as hell wasn't there for you, or anyone else who might have needed me. He was, though, wasn't he? Probably just waiting for me to leave, so he could roll right into the spot I pushed him out of...and I did, didn't I? I came home and pushed John right out.

Ma and Pop want me to come home, but I figure I'm probably better off where I am for the time being. You can probably tell from this letter, I still got a lot of pent up emotion. This letter feels like one big therapy session. You're probably psychoanalyzing me right now, aren't you, Doc? I just want you to know...I hope you're happy. I hope all of you are happy.

Roman

Marlena finishes reading Roman's letter unsure of whether she wants to rage at him, or cry. Tears fill her eyes, as she considers Roman's refusal to accept responsibility for his lack of relationship with his children. He divorced her, he didn't divorce Carrie, Eric, and Sami. Yet he acts like the fact that life continued without him is somehow her fault, or possibly John's fault. Marlena starts to cry. Balling up the letter, she throws it across the room, just as the loft door opens, and she yells, "Fucking, insensitive pig!"

John stands there for a second, after a wad of paper hits him in the face, watching Marlena wrap her arms around herself, and cry. "Whoa, Doc...baby," he whispered, sitting beside her on the couch, and pulling her into him. "What happened?"

"Fucking Roman happened," she said, her eyes flashing with anger. John recognized the look in her eyes, this was angry crying, when her emotions were running so high that they took over. This wasn't the type of crying she had done off, and on for the last three months.

"I know you're upset," he said pushing her hair away from her sweaty forehead. "Talk to me. Please, because you're not normally a curser...that's more my thing."

"Roman wrote us letters. I read mine. It made me insanely angry. John, he doesn't accept responsibility for not being here for the kids, and he insinuates that Sami got pregnant because I was dealing with 'demon stuff'."

"Doc...look at me," he said, waiting until she tipped her head to look at him before he continued. "Nothing against Roman, but are you surprised? He's not the most empathetic person."

"He actually said that, you know. He shouldn't have wrote a letter at all. He rambled for two pages, and never seemed to get anywhere, except to say he wants you and Shawn to do a DNA test."

"I already did one. Weeks ago. Kayla ran it," John told her, running his hands over her hair when she laid her head on his shoulder.

"You never said," Marlena said quietly.

"No reason too, really," John told her. "We already knew the result."

"He wrote you too. I left it on the counter."

"I'll read it later. Right now, I've got you to myself for a few hours, and an empty house," he said biting her neck softly.

"Hmmm," she said tipping her head to the side to give him better access. "Did you have any plans?"

"I do, and they involve you. In my bed. Naked."

"I like those plans, Sailor."