Cold Steel - Inazuma Gaiden

XXVIII: Wintry Songbird and A Prayer's Prairie

It was strange.

She used to think that she didn't mind the cold, maybe it's because of her gift to manipulate the arctic elements, that she would brush off even the strongest hails and the coldest winter nights without much thought. But the cold void that now surrounded her very being sent unimaginable chills all throughout her.

Maybe she was just denying reality all this time, maybe she was merely fooling herself by saying that she'd discarded her old, weak self when she took up the title of being the Shirasagi Himegimi. Perhaps, it was merely a bold-faced lie so that she may keep up a strong facade for her brother, the clan, and also the general Inazuman public. But in reality, the fact that she ultimately fell prey so quickly into the grasp of the Serpent God only proved to her that Kamisato Ayaka may not be as strong as she'd thought.

No, she gave into her own weakness much earlier than that. She already gave into her weakness even before meeting this peculiar commoner that once tried for her life. When she so easily listened to her own desires and let herself be infatuated by a certain blonde outlander from another world in search for their twin after mere days since their arrival in their ailing nation was already plenty proof of her growing complacency. The way she longed for the Traveler's presence when the very nation she'd born and raised on, the very nation that her parents entrusted to her before their passing - suffered through a conflict that effectively split the nation in two, was... in retrospect - not only childish, but perhaps even horrifying.

The way she chose the path of inaction when the pleas of the people came after the war's end, the way she still kept herself blind to the injustice that plagued the nation still outside the mainland, and the way she so readily gave into her emotions when she first met her companion fourteen days ago - almost delivering a killing blow to an individual that was; indirectly, the result of her own clan's splendor. All those finely-crafted blades - even the one she holds, all those polished plates of yoroi, all those expertly-sewn clothing that adorned the walls and display stands of her manor, as well as the homes of other nobles likely came at the cost of the livelihood of several families. It was honestly quite shameful that it took her entire life to notice that the riches and luxuries of even her own belongings - one that she'd thought were earned through her own hard work were essentially crafted in the expense of the welfare of others.

From the start, she was just convincing herself that she was ready for that esteemed position as the clan lady of the Kamisato, when in truth - apart from pleasing her fellow nobles and listening to the requests of the commoners, she did little to improve the overall situation. The fact that the Kamisato Clan still stood today - it was all thanks to the hard work of her parents, ultimately paid in their blood when they passed on from the realm of the living. It was thanks to their efforts, and those who'd came before them that her family, no matter what kind of woes plagued them - they could still bounce back, ever stronger.

And right now, it's only thanks to the people serving under the Commission's banner, the tireless efforts of the Shuumatsuban, and the demanding yet thankless jobs undertaken by her older brother that Inazuma was able to keep itself in this state of limbo, a state of relative and particularly fragile peace. Even as the nation's quality of life plummeted, even as they faced hardships after the disbandment of the Tenryou Commission, Clan Kamisato stood ever strong and ever present - ready to answer the call of the Bakufu.

It was all done without much input from one young lady who'd spent much of her time only lying to herself, convincing herself that everything was fine - or going to be fine. Perhaps it was that kind of complacency that ultimately planted the seeds of doubt in her own self.

What was even the reason for her to so readily throw herself into this kind of emergency?

It wasn't like she wanted to prove herself to her retinues, nor her older brother.