KimPorchay - Mend My Heart ✓

Him

Looking at the folder sitting on his bed, Porchay strangely feels empty. He had thought that when this day would come he'd be the happiest. But today staring at the folder containing his application to the music University, he strangely doesn't feel that excitement that he so badly wants to feel.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that when he had thought of this day in his head before, he had imagined both his Hiya and P'Kim to be there standing and smiling at him as he waved them bye. But it was all a lie.

Looking around the room, Porchay can't find even a little comfort which might help him put his head back at place. But this room is just as cold as it's previous owner.

And though he had called this room cold, Porchay could clearly see the similarities between this room and P'Kim. Apparantly it had been P'Kim who had told P'Arm to assign his old room to the young Kittisawasd, stating that the younger could have always have a look at the books that he had left behind.

Why would Kim go to such lengths when all he had done was lying to Porchay, Porchay didn't know. But it was all a lie right? Porchay scoffs soundlessly. How is it supposed to be a lie when Kim had never once said anything remotely romantic to the younger?

And the younger blamed himself. But then again, didn't his older brother always say that actions speak louder words?

Broken out of his deep thoughts, Porchay looks up when his brother barges into the room, like always. "Hiya, you should have knocked." Though Porchay sounds a little irritated, he still smiles when Porsche rubs his head affectionately.

"Ohw! Since when do I need to knock to enter my brother's room?" Porsche's eyes hold nothing but pride at the fact that his brother was going to live a life which was easier than his own. And somewhere, Porchay felt guilty for it. He felt guilty for having fallen for a guy who was everything Porsche didn't want for him.

But he still smiles, pushing all the hurt and guilt down. "Since now." Yelping a little when Porsche softly hits his head, Porchay giggles.

Porsche can't help but find it cute. "You brat! Let's go. You're going to be late."

Picking up the application folder for his younger brother, Porsche smiles as Chay takes his hand, a small smile fixed on his face.

Oh what he'd do for that smile to always stay on his younger brother's face.

•

Porsche just left, making it easier for Porchay to now execute his plan. He just had to drop the folder in the bin and leave. Easy, right?

Then, why did he feel his hands shake?

Why did his older brother's hopeful face cloud his thoughts immediately? And no, it isn't just about disappointing him. It is something more. It is about the dreams they both had seen together.

Holding the folder closer in his trembling hands, Porchay can hear some of the seniors asking some other students like him if they were here for the interview. But Porchay couldn't care less about them anymore.

Closing his eyes, he reminds himself why he had so badly wanted to be here. Kim had been one of the reasons. But he wasn't the only reason.

Porchay was young when his parents died, so it is no wonder that some of his memories about his parents are already hazy. But one of the things that he still remembers is his father, holding a guitar, humming to him and his older brother and telling them how he had once wanted to be a singer himself.

By looks it may have been Porsche who took after their father, but by heart and personality, it was Porchay who shared all his father's interests, including music.