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━━━003, wishful thinking !
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FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, April's nowhere near as drunk as she wanted to be for this party. It's a Halloween party for crying out loud. So the fact that she knows she'll wake up tomorrow and remember every single detail of tonight is extremely concerning. She's supposed to be so wasted off her ass that she can't tell up from down, confuses left from right, and can't remember the quadratic formula to save her life.
To be fair though, it's not like she's chugged an entire bowl of whatever is in the kitchen. She's only had like, two drinks. But still. She feels like there's something wrong with her, she's just not up for the party right now. If anything, April actually wants to go home, curl up, and sleep. Can you believe that?
She fully blames her parents for this, obviously. Never in their life have they once gotten into her head about college right before an epic Halloween party, but for some reason, tonight they have — and April hates it. It feels like the two worlds that she's tried so desperately to keep separate from each other are bleeding into one another.
To her parents, she's April Wáng: the perfect daughter. She does extracurriculars, has perfect A's in all her classes, and listens to her parents. To her teachers, she's April Wáng: stellar student and popular amongst her classmates. To her peers, she's April Wáng: most popular girl in school and ever the party animal.
How has she let it come to this? April's always thought that she's done such a good job of keeping each aspect of her life separate from one another. How has she allowed one of her lives to bleed into another? Is she losing her touch? No, that can't be it. It must be something else, April knows what it is, she knows that she does, but she doesn't even want to think about it. But there it is, right at the front of her mind with bright neon lights saying: college.
When she goes to college she's no longer going to be April Wáng: most popular girl in school and ever the party animal, or even April Wáng: stellar student and popular amongst her classmates. She's just going to be April Wáng, another face amongst the crowd. Everything that she's built for herself here in Hawkins won't matter anymore, she won't matter anymore when she heads off to college. Everything's going to change for her around this time next year, and she doesn't know if she's ready for it.
So while Corey and AJ are inside, getting buzzed and having the time of their lives, April stands here — outside in the chilly Hawkins air leaning against the panels of Tina's house watching as Billy beats Steve's record for the keg stand with a red Solo cup filled with water in her hand. She brings it up to her mouth, and takes a sip of the clear liquid, wishing it was some of that disgusting punch inside. God, she feels like such a loser. Not even like a loser, she just feels... out of it.
