Facing demons

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Ashwin hopped on the driver's seat and his dad sat next to him to navigate him towards the temple. Although Ashwin has visited the temple several times when he was young, he hadn't been there in a few years now and needed his dad's help to show him the way. The ladies took the back seat. Sivaangi was happily chatting away and the entire family was enjoying the conversation to the fullest. It took them about an hour and a half to reach the temple.

Most of their relatives, including Lakshmi and her family, were already there

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Most of their relatives, including Lakshmi and her family, were already there. They all went in together and started the rituals. The immediate family members of the bride were invited to come forward. Priya went ahead with her dad. Sivaangi took a step back but Ashwin's mom grabbed her hand and moved ahead. Ashwin followed with a smile. After the rituals were completed, Sivaangi went around the temple. She saw a little pond on the side and decided to go and sit on the steps.

She enjoyed looking at the ducks playing in the pond

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She enjoyed looking at the ducks playing in the pond. Ashwin came looking for her. He had vibuthi in his hands. He sat next to her and said, "kanna moodu ma." As soon as she closed her eyes he applied the vibuthi on her forehead and blew to make sure it did not get in her eyes. She smiled and entwined her fingers with his. Then she said, "Indha kovil romba beautiful aa irukku. Reminds me of thodupuzha. Ange yum naan kovil la thozhudhuttu konja neram ukkandhuttu thaan varuven. Peaceful aa irukum." He smiled and agreed. Then she continued, "Ashwiney naan onnu solattuma. Enakku Lakshmi ya paatha paavama irukku. Avakitta chinna vayasu lerndhu Neenga avalukku thaan nu solli solli valathirupaanga. Ippo adhu illainu nenakum podhu ava heart appidiye break ayirukkum le, Ashwiney...che. Neenga kaalaila appidi pattunu soleerka koodadho nu thonudhu." Ashwin smiled and decided to tease her. He said, "paavama irukka? Appo ok madam naan avala kalyanam pannikaren. Namba ithoda mudichikkalam."

Ashwin did not realize that his innocent words will end up being a nightmare. Sivaangi got up from there immediately and yelled, "kovil la pesara pechaa idhu Ashwin." Ashwin looked at her in shock. First of all, it was an outburst he had never seen before and she never calls him "Ashwin". It is always either Achu or Ashwiney. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and she ran towards the temple. She went into the temple again and started praying all over again. She prostrated before the idol. Ashwin was watching her and noticed that she wasn't her self. She was visibly agitated. She was mumbling some prayers and when she came near Ashwin she was still crying but was visibly wheezing. In between her wheezing she kept asking for the car keys. Ashwin ran towards the car to open it. He kept saying, "Enna ma achu unakku. Hospital polaama. Unakku enna pannudhu." but she kept mumbling and went for her purse. She pulled out her inhaler and took a couple of puffs.

Meanwhile, Ashwin's parents heard that Sivaangi was not feeling well and ran towards the car. Sridhar saw this too and he said he will take care of dropping Priya home and asked them to just take care of the situation. Ashwin's dad took the wheel this time. Ashwin took the passenger seat. Ashwin's mom sat next to Sivaangi and caressed her head and repeatedly said, "onnum Illa da unakku onnum illai." By this time Ashwin had realized that Sivaangi had a panic attack which triggered her asthma. He just didn't know what he did or said that had caused it.

The medicine started to work and Sivaangi calmed down. She placed her head on aunty's lap and rested. Meanwhile, Ashwin called Binni and told her what happened. Binni said, "Ayo kozhandai ippo eppidi irukka. Inhaler eduthadhu naala seriya poidum. Hospital ellam poga vendam. Naaliki thaan vandhuduvele naan check up ku kootindu poren. Konjam thoongunga she will be alright." Sivaangi slept all the way home.

Once they reached home she woke up. She seemed much calmer. As soon as they stepped inside the house, she hugged aunty and said, "ungala ellam tension akinadhukku romba sorry. Ennala neegalum seekaram vara vendiyadha pochu." Aunty kissed her forehead and said, "Adhellam onnum illai ma. Unakku onnum illiye?" Sivaangi smiled weakly and nodded saying she was fine. Ashwin's dad, who wasn't much of a talker just touched her head and blessed her. Sivaangi looked at Ashwin's eyes. She saw how worried he was but at the same time he felt guilty too. He didn't know what had triggered this. She gave him a side hug and just walked up to her room. She wanted to be alone and they understood.

After about 30 minutes Ashwin went up to her room and knocked even though the door was open. She was packing her bags as they had a morning flight back home. She had changed into a t-shirt and track pants. She looked up when she heard the knock. She smiled at him and said, "Ashwiney enna pudusa knock ellam pannareenga." As soon as he heard that, he just ran in and hugged her. His voice chocked and all he could say was, "Sorry maa naan thaan unnoda panic attack ku karanam nu theriyudhu aana please naan enna thappu paninen nu sollu. Naan thiruthikkaren. Unna appadi paakumpodhu sethutten ma."

Sivaangi held both his hands and kissed his palm. "Mottamaadi la meet pannalaama? Unga kitta naraya pesanam. Ungalukku enna pathi theriyadha oru vishayam therinjikka poreenga". Ashwin kissed her forehead and said, "whatever it is I love you more than anything in this world and remember I am always with you, always."

Sivaangi wasn't very hungry but enjoyed that warm glass of milk that Aunty fondly gave her. She then went to the terrace and waited for Ashwin to join her.

Brinda Subramanian

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