ROSES AND CURTAINS [A BOY LOVE NOVEL]

XIX

A year ago. Tantan met Akihiro in a very mundane way. It was a sunny day. Sinundo siya ng tatay niya sa eskwelahan. Inside the white van as his father drives, he looks at the shy boy wearing a blue hoodie beside him, naka-subsob sa isang PSP as he plays Tekken. Tantan being the curious one tries to look at the gadget.

He sees the username Akihiro_25. Akihiro looks at him with eyes full of wonder as if it's the first time he's seen a human being. He blinks twice not saying a word and goes back to his thing.

Nang sumunod na araw. Akihiro is still with him at the backseat. He's still playing. This time around he has chocolates in his hands. Aki blinks twice again and offers him food only using his palm as a means of communication. Hindi niya tatanggapin kasi nahihiya siya. He can still rember his father's words. ''Wag mo istorbohin yan si Sir Matthew. Anak ni Boss Willie yan" Tantan moves faraway from Aki closer to the window of the van. Still Aki throws a chocolate bar at him. Tantan catches it. Aki winks at him. Mamumula ang pisngi niya.

It might be that Aki was Tantan's first crush. He had all those things that Paloma told him. It felt cold when Aki winked at him, and he wanted to draw a big smile that day but conceals it due to him being shy. And up to this day Aki makes him still feel giddy. He is Tantan's sweet spot.

Malayo-layo na ang narating ng dalawa mula sa simpleng batuhan ng chocolate bar. Here they are, looking like they've known each other for years. Seated closer than before, munching over an egg pie with soft drinks.

Tantan never expected him to drop by at this hour sa panaderia. He was really expecting Benedict to come over so that he can savor all those little moments with him.

"Pag ikaw na grounded ulit kaka-takas ha" Tantan, worried about Aki.

"I got it. Don't worry" Aki does his famous wink again.

"My parents want me to study in Taiwan after graduating. We got into an argument. Can't stay at home so I decided to sneak out"

"Bakit ayaw mo? Ibang bansa na yun. Ako nga public school ulit pagka graduate"

"I'm actually thinking of going with you guys in PUP. Let me know when the examination is. Though I still don't have a course to take. But I want to take the exam!."

"Ako. Mag architecture ako. Dami kasi math ng engineering eh. O Fine Arts."

"That's not a surprise. You're good at drawing. On the other hand, me, I don't know kung saan ako magaling"

"Ayaw mo mag education? Or I.T. kasi magaling ka sa computers."

"Hmm. Let me think about it"

Then an abrupt silence. Aki stares at the church for a minute as Tantan goes back to his school works. He is in a deep thought.

"How did you come out to your parents? Like how you told them you're gay and you like boys?" Aki breaks the silence. Hindi naman maisip ni Tantan ang sagot sa tanong. "May ganun come out? Ano yun?"

"So you never had a coming out story?"

"Wala. Di ko alam ano yun. Pag kainuman ni Mama sina kagawad sa bahay laging kine-kwento ni Mama na nung nasa tiyan niya ako. Makulit saka magaslaw ako, chika niya lang sumasayaw na daw ako nasa tiyan pa lang kaya alam niyang bakla daw ako. Hindi ka ba sumasayaw sa tiyan ng mama mo?"

Aki has a weird expression written on his face. "Really? That's true?"

"Hala oo nga bhe, walang halong kyeme"

"Your parents are not mad you're gay? Even Justine's parents?"

"Hindi. Si Justine wala namang mama at papa yun di'ba? Pag may byukon nga lolo at lola pa niya bumibili ng gown saka sash. Si Papa naman wala naman ako narinig. Lag inga ako sinasabihan nun wag daw ako papabuntis" Tantan and Aki laughs.

"Well you're lucky"

"Eh di punta ka sa Papa mo sabihin mo beki ka din"

"No!!! I'm Chinese, Tantan"

"Pag Intsik bawil maging bakla? Weird niyo bhe"

"Of course, you can! Hello? My point is. It's hard being gay and Chinese at the same time! It's also hard being me. I mean when I'm home everyone says I'm too Filipino kais nga I suck at hokkien and mandarin. Tapos when I'm with Filipino friends naman, they say I'm too Chinese. Tapos it's also hard being gay and Chinese kasi you know baka palayasin ako. And I'm already an outsider in the family. I don't want to make it worse! Ugh! It's so hard. But you get my point!"

"Di ko nagets bhe"

Aki suddenly reach a breaking point. He cries. Alarmed si Tantan. What the hell is up with his friend, is it about what he said? Does this make him a bad friend? Tantan draws himself closer to Akin.

"Hala bhe! Wala ka pang shot umiiyak ka na? Bakit?!" Tantan consoles Aki. He hands him a handkerchief.

"I just want to disappear" Sabi ni Aki habang sumisinghot-singhot. "Wag ka mag disappear bhe malulungkot kami nina Justine"

"Tapos gusto nila mag-Taiwan pa ako. I don't have friends there." Tantan doesn't know what to do. He's not equipped in situations like this.

"Eh di wag mo muna sabihin sa kanila na beki ka, kung papalayasin ka nila. Ano lang lagi sinasabi ni Justine go with the flow ganun? Yung sa Taiwan, hindi ko alam bhe kasi syempre magulang mo pa din masusunod diyan eh."

Aki doesn't say a word. You know he is carrying a heavy baggage. Aki is far from the shiny boy that he seems to be. There's an anchor of unexplained feelings deep within him that had been dragging him ever since.

"It's also hard kasi you always get compared with your siblings. Since most of them are really good in school. They all excel except for me. I don't even know what course I will take in college"

Aki suddenly hugs Tantan and continues crying. The boy accepts him. He was warm as tears flow down from his cheeks. His scent is olfactorily out of this world. He's the only person he knows that smells this way. The kind that draws you closer to the person making you want to glue yourself to him. A rose that never wilts.

Aki withdraws from the hug. "Thank you"

"Okay ka na bhe?"

"Hindi pa din. I don't want to go home"

"Eh di dito ka muna. Ayan may bibili ikaw mag-asikaso tapos tatapusin ko lang assignment ko"

Aki follows and for the next few moments. He's the one serving the customers. Tantan observes him. The boy lights up every time a customer comes. As the dawn breaks into a night, Aki's smile becomes the beacon of light Tantan needed in that mundane day.

The church bells rang signifying that the 6pm mass is over. Aki prepares to leave and thanks Tantan for being his sounding board today. Before walking out the store, he plants a kiss on Tantan's cheeks. It stuns him. As the figure of the boy dissolve in his eyes he was just standing there. Asking himself what the kiss meant.

The way his lips pressed against him was so gentle and quick he couldn't put his palm down. He wants to preserve it. Tantan looks up the sky, but even with the kiss. There were no linear movements from up above. The sky didn't explode in his vision, no dancing structures, no angelic music. Just the bells of the church ringing and riding the rhythm of his slightly pounding heart.

It was still a kiss, worth remembering.