Forever and Always

18

TRIGGER WARNING. THIS CHAPTER HAS A PANIC ATTACK.

It had been a week since Doc's passing and slowly but surly Eliza was getting over it. But recently Derek and Addison have had a wedge in their relationship.

Lilly was coming off of the elevator to go find her parents to show them the book Bailey has given her but she froze.
(I am changing this scene a little bit)

"Derek I want you to care." Addison yelled, loud enough for everyone to hear. "What do I have to do to get you to care?" Addison yelled. "Addison I stopped caring when you cheated on me with your best friend." He yelled back. Without it even realizing it the book fell from Lilly's hands making a slamming sound making everyone turn their heads. Her face was frozen, tears bubbled in her eyes. Addison and Derek saw the look on Lillys face and immediately ran over to her. But before they could get to her she sprinted away.

START OF PANIC ATTACK

Lilly ran into the bathroom and curled up onto the floor. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her sobs where filling the room.

Eliza was walking up the stairwell but she saw Lilly run by crying. She chased after her.

Lilly's hands where shaking and she was shaking. "Lills." Eliza ran over to her and took her into her arms . "Lilly what happened." Eliza asked. Lilly was hiccuping. "Lilly breathe." Eliza rubbed her cheek. "Come on please breathe for me. Look we can count and breathe, 1-2-3-." She went on. Slowly Lilly's sobs moved to single tears falling down her cheeks, "mom cheated on dad?" Lilly looked up at Eliza. Eliza sighed and pulled her sisters head into her chest. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this." Eliza said. "You knew?" Lilly picked her head up. "Lills." "No don't. I-." She broke down. Eliza pulled her back to her chest.

They sat there like that for a while until someone came into the bathroom. "Lilly." She turned the corner. "Bailey." Eliza said. Bailey said, "your parents are worried sick." She said "come on." She reached out her hand. Lilly glanced at it but then held closer to Eliza, "Lilly come on please." Eliza said. "I promise I won't hurt you baby girl." Miranda said. Lilly finally got up, Miranda led the two girls out of the bathroom and down to the lobby where a worried Addison and Derek where. As well as Mark and Richard and Adele and Callie. "I found them." Miranda said. Addison snapped her head towards her voice and Eliza and Lilly could tell she had been crying. "My babies." Addison ran over to them and hugged Eliza then she pulled away and hugged Lilly but Lilly didn't hug her back she just stood there. Addison pulled back, "mom why did you cheat on dad?" Lilly asked tears bubbling in her eyes. "I-I-." Addisons voice cracked, "baby that was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Addison said rubbing Lilly's tears away. "Is that why daddy went away?" She asked. Derek bent down in front of the girl. "Yes baby." He said. She dove into his arms, Addison stood wiping her tears, it hurt her to see Lilly want Derek and not her because for the longest time it was the other way around.

Addison knocked on the door, "who is it?" A tiny voice rung out. "It's me." Addison said her hand on the doorknob. There was a long pause but then, "Come in". Addison opened the door and the sight broke her heart. Lilly was curled up in a ball, her knees to her chest and tears where streaming down her cheeks, Addison closed the door and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry baby." She said looking at Lilly. She didn't know where to start. "M-mommy." As soon as she heard that she cradled Lilly into her arms. Lilly was sobbing, Addison kissed her hair and whispered apologies over and over again. Slowly Lilly started to calm down.

"Why?" Lilly asked. "Hmm?" Addison asked confused about what she was asking. "Why did you cheat on dad?" Lilly asked picking her head up from Addison's chest. Addison sighed, "I honestly don't know baby." She said. She knew why but she thought she could spare her 8 year old the details. Lilly curled back up to Addisons chest. "I'm sorry baby." She said again.