a mirror in the sun ☼ l.s.

sixteen - together

"I can't believe we did that." Harry had been worrying his lower lip between his teeth for the past half hour at least, rambling himself into a panic. Louis was content to rub shapes into the back of his hand and let him get all of his anxieties out in the open. "We could get in so much trouble. I-I don't know what I was thinking -- no, I wasn't thinking at all --"

He melted when Louis leaned in and kissed him.

Finally, after an endless string of what if, what if, what if, Harry quieted. The planet fell back into orbit, slowing to a normal-paced spin. He felt the unmoving ground beneath him, the cool blades of grass twined with his fidgeting fingers, and Louis's warm skin against his own. His heart rate quickened as his thoughts slowed, his lips following Louis's without second guessing.

"Don't worry," Louis murmured into his mouth. He cupped the back of Harry's neck, squeezing three times reassuringly. "You don't have to worry, okay? We're gonna be fine."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I'm not." His honesty felt stolen, selfish, like too much to ask. "But I've never let anyone hurt you, have I?" He brushed his lips over Harry's once more before pulling back to look him in the eye, promising, "That's not going to change."

"You act like you can control everything -- everyone," Harry said, his chest tight with worry -- and guilt. Louis was willing to promise him so much, and Harry couldn't even let himself hope. "I-I know mating rules are changing, and I guess there are a few celebrities who are openly gay, but we're not like them. We live in the real world, Louis, and I-I don't know how --"

Louis kissed him again.

Harry huffed softly, but he let Louis wrap an arm around his back, cradling him close. The older alpha's chest was steady beneath his fingertips, his heartbeat thrumming like a livewire. He went easily when Louis lowered him back onto the ground, settling over top of him like he was made to be there.

He tilted his head back, deepening the kiss. Louis's fingers curled around his hip, the slightest bit of pressure. Heat coiled deep in his stomach, pulsing through his veins, and -- finally reached his brain. He still wasn't thinking. He pushed Louis back with two hands on his chest, staring up at him with wide eyes, affronted.

"You can't -- stars, you can't keep doing that!"

Louis was beaming, grinning ear to ear. He propped himself up on one elbow. "I absolutely can, and I absolutely will."

Harry covered his face with both hands, shaking his head. The grass was damp now, almost cold in the darkness. "Louis, what will people say? What will they say if they find out?"

"They don't have to say anything. Not yet." He tucked a stray curl behind Harry's ear. His face had gone serious, but he didn't sound worried at all. "It's just you and me, remember? For now, let's just focus on what we can control."

With a defeated sigh, Harry let his hands fall away from his face, dropping both arms limply onto the ground beside his head. His fingers brushed Louis's arm in the process, warm and solid, and curled around Louis's bicep before he could think himself out of it. The floodgates had opened, a dam burst inside of him, and Harry felt so overwhelmed by it all that he could only hold on.

"It doesn't have to happen all at once," Louis was saying at the same time. "I guess we sort of . . . stumbled into this. Tonight, I mean. But we have all the time in the world to figure this out, H. I don't want you to worry until we have something real to worry about."

And maybe that was what scared Harry the most: it felt real. For the first time, with Louis's arm in his grip, it felt real.

They felt real, and Harry was more than worried. He was terrified.