Trigger warning(s) -
General discussion of mental health, mention of burning, pain, gender dysphoria.
-
-
Chapter 1 - July 2nd 2022.
It's 3am.
I have school in the morning, a new project to turn in, tonight, I'm working on my project. The history teacher said to do it on something interesting on history. So I'm doing LGBT history, I could focus on Stonewall, but I've decided against that. Most people know about Stonewall, I want to tell about those that were before the wonderful event.
- 4:00am
The laptop screen is burning my eyes now, I should sleep, but I can't. I think my ribs hurt to much. Or my knee. Might actually be both, maybe, I don't know.
- 5:00am
I'm going to go to bed now, it's dark in my room. I'm going to tell you about myself.
My name is ????
I'm not a girl.
And I don't know who I am.
I wrote down everything that makes me different, its not a long list.
* If something's to loud, my head hurts.
* If something's to bright, my eyes burn.
* I can focus on one thought for hours, that apparently isn't normal.
* If I don't make my bed 3 times before bed, I won't wake up in the morning.
* Touch hurts sometimes.
I consider myself weird, or sometimes a freak. But I've been told not to call myself that. I've also been told that the reason my mental health isn't good is because I'm a teenager.
I don't think that's why, I just think I'm a freak. Or insane, I might actually be both, I don't know. I think I'll consider this journal as the ramblings of a mad person. Or, my self discovery book.
But, if I did that I'd consider this a self - help book, and this most definitely is not.
This will be the cold, hard, truth.
The cold, hard, truth, of issues with not knowing who you are.
-
- 6:15am.
I don't like skirts.
It only reminds me that my body belongs to a women.
I'm not a women, or a man.
I'm something.
My skin feels tight.
And my chest doesn't feel right.
I'm not aloud to bind at the moment.
My friend told me not to.
I injured a rib, I wish I didn't at this point.
-
-
I'm going to school now.
Goodbye.
- ???
-
-
Word count - 389
Date of posting - Saturday July 2nd 2022
Time of posting - 13:56
YOU ARE READING
I Don't Know Who I am.
General FictionI don't know who I am. Well, I know my birthname, and I know that I'm in the wrong body or sorts, I know some sounds hurt my ears, and that bright lights make my head hurt, and the fact that sometimes when someone touches me it hurts, but other than...
