kpop stuffs

the boyz

there's something i wanna talk from my chest, bc it still makes me cry like shit

i had a concert ticket for the boyz in berlin on tuesday (i still have it)

and i had it since april

my best friend bought it for me bc i won a bet and as the winner i could decide on which concert i wanna go and he would pay the ticket, train/bus, hotel, food etc

and that's exactly what happened

i planned the whole concert since april, we booked a hostel for 65€ (the ticket was 190€ btw) and also got me bus tickets bc i easily get anxiety attacks in trains

i even got myself a new pair of really expensive jeans and bought pearls and stuff to make bracelets for the members to give it to them

and yk i was so excited, even though my mom really was against it in the beginning. we had a really huge argument, where she said really mean things to me - e.g. even though i'm 20, i'm not allowed to go anywhere without her permission, i'm a bastard for doing this to her and she wishes that i never sleep again if she dies bc of worrying about me being alone in berlin - which made me move out to friends for almost a week

i wanted to go so badly, i never was that happy for a really long time and yk also some internet friends of mine went to the concert and we all wanted to meet up and stuff

the problem was that i didn't have vacation in bavaria
but i wouldn't have my next exam until the 8th july, so i thought it would be fine

but it wasn't

my biology teacher announced to write an exam on wednesday, the day after the concert and ofc my bus back to my city would drive wednesday morning

but i didn't really cared about that, bc some of my classmates and i talked about, that teachers only should announce the first short written test in the first semester and not the other ones, so even if they announce it, they wouldn't want the headmaster to know bc that's not what they agreed on so i wouldn't need a medical certificate

and so far i never needed it at any announced short written test that was not the first one

but the week before the concert our biology teacher announced that we need a medical certificate and if we don't write the short written test, we have to write a replacement test about the whole fucking semester

i literally went through every possibility

the main problem was that my bus to berlin would depart on monday
which would have meant that i had to get a medical certificate already on monday for tuesday and wednesday and my doctor would never gave me one. if i want to stay away from school longer he wants to see me everyday, bc he never gives someone a certificate longer than for one day except it's covid

also if i'd come back on wednesday i probably wouldn't made it in time, bc doctors here are only open until 12pm

we even tried to find a solution that i can go back right after the concert, so i can attend the test, but it all didn't work out

so basically i missed the concert of my life for a god damn short written test, which we wrote within 30 minutes

because of 30 minutes, months of planning were for nothing

it still won't get in my mind and i'm still heartbroken and so sad, bc within the past few months the boyz really got a place deep in my heart and became one of my ults

i wanted to see them so bad and it was just a waste of time

i'm still in pain bc of this

that's probably something i will never get over