It was a Thursday night tradition for me to go over to dinner at my grandma's. She lived about twenty minutes from campus and fifteen minutes away from our apartment. Her house was a small two bedroom ranch. It was sandwiched between two huge houses that had immaculate landscaping. My grandma's garden, on the other hand, was an explosion of color, plants of all heights and colors were crammed together in her small front yard. Pots lined the front porch, filled with tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and leafy greens. It was plant chaos and it was my favorite spot on earth.
I swung open the gate, stepped through and then latched it behind me. The bees were still buzzing among the flowers as I made my way up the flagstone path to the front door. I opened it and looked down at Babs, my grandma's cat.
Babs meowed repeatedly at me until I picked her up. Then she rubbed her face all over mine, trying to lick my nose. I laughed. "Grandma?" I called.
"In the kitchen, honey." She replied. Babs and I made our way into the kitchen. Painted a soft yellow, it looked the same as it had my entire life. Plants filled the windows and some hung from the ceiling in front of the sliding glass door that led to the back porch and the small back yard. I stood for a moment, holding Babs, and watching the birds flit between the several bird feeders that she had.
She was busy chopping up onions, so it took her a minute to speak. "How were your first two days of school."
"Oh, you know." I set down Babs and looked at her. "Busy."
"Do you like your professors?"
"I've had a lot of them before. But, yes, I do." I told her. I grabbed a pistachio out of the bowl on the counter. I tried to think of what I wanted to tell her, but I was still feeling mildly weird from my conversation with Axel.
For some reason, the way that he'd gotten irritated with me had really rubbed me the wrong way. Something in me wanted to butt heads with him. I wanted a fight. It was throwing me off because I wasn't usually a big fan of confrontation. Instead, I went out of my way to avoid it. But now I was itching to argue with Axel again. It was like all that pent up rage that I'd kept locked inside for four years finally had a way to come out.
On my grandma's instructions, I went outside to water her plants as she finished making dinner. I listened to the hum of the insects and did my best to relax. It wasn't working. Thursdays were my easy day, but the whole day I'd been thinking about what Axel had said. I'm trying to apologize. You don't have to be snotty. I hated that he was probably right. He was clearly trying to put in an effort. I just didn't really want to hear it. How did you explain to someone that you changed your entire life because of a single moment? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Bullshit. Dylan Rogers' words had broken me.
Then, Axel had the audacity to say that he'd never thought I was ugly. I didn't believe him in the slightest. Why the fuck would he laugh then? It wasn't like someone was holding a gun to his head saying 'laugh at this joke or I'll kill you'.
The thoughts spun around in my head. Was I being overly dramatic? Did he deserve my forgiveness? Why should I bother to forgive him after all this time? He did seem like he was trying. But why was he trying? Why did he care? And on and on and on.
It took me twenty minutes to finish watering the plants, but then I retreated back inside where I was greeted with a plate of mashed potatoes, chicken, and vegetables. "This looks delicious. Thanks, grandma." She smiled at me was we dug in.
It didn't take long for her to catch onto my strange mood. "You seem put off today, Emma." She commented. My stomach dropped. I had been hoping I wouldn't have to explain.
"Grandma--" I looked up at her, debating my next words. "Do you remember my Preview Day? Senior year of high school."
"Yes." She said carefully. I could tell from her tone that she remembered it in detail. The woman had an incredibly good memory. "What about it?"
"Those boys." My grandma's face twisted into full understanding, then she looked sad. "What they said." I added, to make sure that she was definitely on the same page as me.
"I do. Emma--" She began.
I cut her off. "One of them is in my group for Global Lit. There's four of us in the group. And we're stuck together for the whole semester." I sighed. I didn't know what the point of explaining all this was.
"Is it the boy who actually said--" My grandma trailed off, clearly knowing better than to bring up the actual words. I'd cried about it to her afterwards. That was before I'd started coming up with a workout schedule, doing all the meal planning and cooking for me and my parents, and basically changing my entire life and routine.
"No. No, it's not. But--"
"Emma." My grandma said patiently. "He was in high school. He laughed at something he shouldn't have. Are you going to hold that over him now?"
The word came out of my mouth before I could think. "Yes."
"I think you should reconsider." She looked at me, her blue eyes gleaming. There was something unnervingly intelligent in her gaze. It was wisdom, but something else too. Something I didn't understand. She was probably right, but I wasn't sure that I was ready to just give up.
"What if I don't want to?"
"Then that's your prerogative." She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "I love you no matter what." Her eyes crinkled as she smiled. "After all, you are my favorite granddaughter." I laughed. I was her only granddaughter. "Fancy a round of cribbage after dinner?"
"You're on." I agreed. I was getting better, but it had taken a good three months of her kicking my ass every time we played. We'd switched from Othello, after deciding that it was getting a little bit too repetitive. There was nothing my grandma loved more than a good card or board game. Cribbage had worked its way into the rotation along with Mastermind, Chess, Checkers, Mancala, and a variety of others.
After dinner and a game of cribbage, we said our goodbyes. "Think about what I said." My grandma said as she hugged me goodbye. I didn't have to ask her what she meant. I knew she was referring to Axel.
"I will." I promised.
"Love you lots, sweetie. I'll see you on Sunday?" We did Sunday breakfast on weeks where I could make it work too.
"You will." I promised. "Love you." I kissed her on the cheek and then retreated out the door. The bees had started to quiet down for the day as I made my way back through the front garden. I stepped through the gate once more and shut it, then started down the street towards my car.
A guy driving past rolled his window down and wolf-whistled at me. My stomach dropped, and I tried hard not to cringe. Instead I dropped my gaze and hurried to my car, locking the doors behind me as soon as I got inside.
It wasn't the first time some guy had whistled at me, but it made me massively uncomfortable every time. I took a few deep breaths and checked the street. The guy had kept driving. Thank god.
YOU ARE READING
One Shot Away
Romance"The worst part of this whole situation was that he was attractive now. He'd been cute in high school. I remembered, because my eyes had lingered on him the longest of the four boys. He had bright green eyes, a smattering of freckles, and dark, wavy...
