I met Bree my freshman year of college. I'd lived in a single, and she'd lived in the double next door. Bree hated her roommate, Martha, with a burning, fiery passion. There was nothing particularly wrong with Martha, other than the fact that she was totally and completely clueless.
Martha was actually quite nice, if you initiated the conversation. But she basically refused to talk to anyone unless spoken to first. It's a quality that you don't really realize is annoying, until somebody around you does it and you realize it's actually immensely frustrating. Unfortunately, Martha was also a bit of a neat freak, which did not vibe well with Bree's chaotic vibes of being a human hurricane.
Needless to say, I'd been slightly more tolerable than Martha in Bree's opinion, so Bree had ended up spending a lot of time in my room. I found her endless tirades quite amusing, and we had a couple of classes together. We'd been partners and actually worked well together which at that point had been a trait that made Bree unique. Every other group my freshman year seemed like it had three slackers and me.
After deciding that freshman year seemed to go pretty well for us, we moved in together our sophomore year. I had a couple of reservations about it, but it turned out that Bree was actually a pretty great roommate and friend.
Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer our sophomore year, which had been a whole roller coaster of emotions for Bree. There were countless late nights that I had stayed up with her while she cried, countless meals I had made her, and about fifty homework assignments I'd had to remind her to get done.
While she had been going through that, I'd started dating the guy we now referred to as the 'ex who shall not be named', Turk. Turk was really great at first, or at least, I thought he was. He complimented me on my body and made me feel like I was making all the right choices. He seemed like he cared about me and like he liked me. So I'd had sex with him, as you often do with your first serious significant other.
It had taken a downhill turn from there. Turk, as it turned out, was actually kind of a major asshole. And after we had sex, he started pointing out what he deemed to be my flaws. I held a bit too much fat in my thighs, I had stretch marks that he could see while we were having sex, I didn't moan right in bed. The list went on and on and on. It was exhausting.
Despite Bree having one of the worst years of her life, she tuned into what was happening, and basically held an intervention. I'd tried to stand up to Turk and he'd broken up with me.
That year had brought us closer than I'd ever thought I could be with someone. I understood Bree and she understood me.
Our junior year was calmer. I focused on getting over Turk. I went to a couple of therapy sessions, I talked to my grandma about it, I found a new routine for myself. Bree started dating Justin, which was an odd love story, but seemed like a good one so far.
Suddenly, we'd found ourselves at senior year, and now I was panicked that time was sliding by too quickly. That was why, on the Monday of our second week of the semester, Bree came home to me frantically cooking a four-course meal in her honor.
"Emma?" Bree walked into the kitchen. She observed the absolute mess I'd created. "Wow. You've really outdone yourself."
"You're eating dinner with me tonight." I said.
"Yeah. I know. You texted me."
"I haven't looked at my phone since then." I told her. It was true, I hadn't. I'd gotten home and immediately started cooking. The anxiety from talking with Axel on the hike had been getting to me, and I'd desperately needed to do something with my hands. Cooking had been my refuge for the last four years, so that was what I had fallen into.
"Are you alright?" She asked, stealing a potato off of the pan and eating it before I could tell her to stop.
"It's our senior year." I looked at her. "Life is just slipping past us."
Bree raised an eyebrow. "Life is not slipping past us." I got a look that said that conversation was finished and I sighed. She took the bowls of soup I handed her and went to set them on the table. I followed with a basket of rolls, setting them down in the middle. We made another trip, carrying potatoes, and vegetables, and chicken. Bree watched me carefully as we sat down. "How was your hike yesterday?"
"Fine."
"Axel was there." It wasn't a question, more just a statement of facts.
"And the rest of my group." I reminded her. She ignored me entirely.
"How are you feeling about him?" I told her about all of our conversations to date, which she just nodded along to. I got the feeling she was storing all the information in the back of her mind for when it became relevant.
"Confused. I think." I didn't really know. I wanted to forgive him, I just didn't know how to stop being angry. I wasn't sure I was angry at Axel specifically, or if it was really just his association with Dylan Rogers.
"Why?"
"I think I'm just bad at forgiving people." I said softly, dragging a spoon through my soup.
"Emma--" Bree frowned. "I just don't know if you've met anyone that you needed to forgive who was actually worthy of forgiving."
"Maybe I don't know how." I glanced up at her.
Bree was wearing an amused smile. "You overthink everything." She laughed. "You'll figure this out. You always do."
"I appreciate your confidence in me."
"Do you think we should invite Natalie and Dinah down? You cooked a lot of food." She glanced at the array of food in front of us.
"Probably." I sighed.
"Are you good?" Bree grabbed my hand. "I'm here for you, you know?"
"I know." I squeezed her hand. "Let's call Natalie and Dinah."
Bree did as she said she would and Natalie and Dinah arrived less than five minutes later. "It smells fucking amazing in here." Dinah announced as she threw open the door.
"Stress cooking?" Natalie asked me as she sat down next to me. I shrugged.
"Get this shit." Dinah said. "Today, one of my professors brought his dog to class and let it run around in the lecture hall with us." Dinah chortled. "The dog peed on his bag. It was hilarious."
We laughed and I caught Bree's gaze. Dinner with friends was what I'd needed. Bree smiled and took a bite of her soup, looking proud of herself.
"Do you guys want to come to the women's soccer game with me on Thursday?" Dinah asked. "It's my new obsession."
"I'm working it." I said. "Since the boys are out of town."
"I'll come." Natalie told Dinah.
"You hate soccer." Dinah replied. Natalie shrugged. "But I can't say no to good company." Natalie's lips twisted into a small smile. I glanced at Natalie, who only had eyes for Dinah.
"Count me in." Bree said. "Women's soccer is badass."
The conversation quickly devolved into a discussion about the most badass women's sports, which then turned into Bree and Dinah roping Natalie into watching YouTube of women's rugby, while Dinah rested her head in Natalie's lap. From there, it didn't take long for the three of them to fall asleep on the couch.
I tiptoed around the apartment to clean up and then slipped into my room, thankful to have had the brief distraction. I thought about what Bree had said. I could forgive Axel, I just had to be patient. Maybe I was expecting too much trying to forgive him instantaneously.
~~~
a/n: We are currently in the process of moving, so updates may be a bit sporadic.
Also, I had an end to this chapter that somehow didn't get saved, so I had to try to remember how I wrapped this one up. It might get edited later.
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One Shot Away
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