My Heart is a fragile system

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I locked it up
so no one could break it ever again.
It worked well.
I lived without self-doubt.
I was fine.

But for no reason
you came in my life again
and the hope began to grow,
so I fall in deep pain twice
Or the third-, fourth-... sixth time?

To know,
that I would never be good enough for you,
that there will never be an 'us' was hard to accept.
But you were not good as well,
so I felt selfish, just worried about myself and the hopes that I had.

It wouldn't work anyway.
I'll live my life, and you'll live yours.

Everybody thinks – I know they do –
that I have no idea what love is
cause I've never had someone to share life with,
so how could I understand it and the pain when someone breaks your heart?
Besides, I've never really known these people.

Maybe they're right.
But I know how it feels
when every crush of yours treats you like shit,
when every one of them rejects you of the worst kinds.
I mean, you can't force someone to love you.

But with every rejection, the doubt grows.
Never mind.
Someday I will be fine again, and you'll be too.
Until then I'll lock up my heart
and try to live and to heal me.

Life is no fairytale
and no one in the world can heal your doubts,
there is no prince to lead you to the Happy Ending.
You must rise
from the ashes on your own.

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