Nights are awful at holidays

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I lost myself
In the middle of the night
No sign of hope
It lures to my phone
And everything is drowning
My thoughts into doubt.
It's like my head's the Deep Blue Sea
And anxiety the Brick
Which keeps me at the bottom.
No way to come home.

I am lonely
I cut the unknown yarn
No way to find the way until dawn
It's like I have no right to call your name
Because I broke the frame of friendship.
I realized the Wall I once had build
Was, not only to secure me
But as well as to hold me from living.
It's a Cage, unbreakable,
As high as my doubts
No chance of changing the perspective.

I am screaming
hitting the damn Stone Wall
But there is no way to turn back the time,
And to burn my way from the inside out.

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