Your Beautiful Insecurities

part 1 <3

"𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓻𝓾𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓪𝓻 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓘 𝓻𝓾𝓷 𝓸𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂.. 𝓝𝓸𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓼. 𝓝𝓸𝓫𝓸𝓭𝔂'𝓼 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓼."

Ponyboys POV.
_____________________

I couldn't stop my feet from moving. My cheek was burning from where my eldest brother, Darrel, had just hit me for the first time. I was running away. I covered my ears Desperately wishing to block out the yells coming from the world I was leaving behind, I don't care if they want me to come back, I don't want to go back. I don't know what I want... But I think I want  johnny. No, I want Johnny, I really really want Johnny.
I was having all sorts of troubles Internalizing my petrifed feelings, but Johnny Cade would guide me.
I sprinted as fast as I could drag my feet, down to the lot where I was sure Johnny would be. He definitely wasn't at our house that night.
"Ponyboy?! " a concerned voice called for me, it was Johnny, so I stopped in my tracks and looked around; slowly I brought my cold hands up to my puffy eyes that were welling with tears, "J-johnnycakes? " I managed to stuttered out before collapsing into my best friends arms. I felt sick, icky, as if I was going to throw up but be dipped in tar afterwards.

"Ponyboy? Ponyboy are you all right? Pones! Do you even hear me, what happened to your cheek? "  I heard the concern in his voice and quickly shook my head in an effort to tell. Him I was ok. Well at least kinda ok.
"Um.. Darry h-hit me and i-i came-a-runnin to you Johnny cakes.. I'm sorry.. I-i didn't mean no harm I just-" I was quickly shushed by the soothing voice of the figure holding me, "what did he hit ya for ponyboy?" Johnny replied, his voice was full with worry and surprise, but at the same time he looked a little...angry? "I don't k-know johnny... I guess we got into a fight and it just kinda H-happened.. "
I suggested almost sounding muted. I still couldn't believe darry had hit me, well it was bound to happen sooner or later but.. I ran away. "We should get you back home pones! This is 'round the time the socs start comin out to find some vulnerable greasers!" Johnny explained to me while rubbing my back slowly, I know he was trying to comfort me, but I just couldn't stop myself from crying. "Don't you tell me your thinking of running away ponyboy." Johnny expressed strongly. It was as if he could read my mind or something. "I was Johnny" I mumbled out solemnly.
"I ain't letting you flee your brothers like that pones! They care about you, "
'How could anyone care about me' those words flashed in my mind as Johnny spoke but I shrugged them over my shoulder, "They love you ponyboy, and ya can't just leave 'em like that"

I nodded stiffly, I couldn't really agree with Johnny but, I'll go home, I'll do it for Johnny.

𝘼𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚:
𝙃𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙤! 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠! 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙥𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙜𝙚𝙩! 𝙄 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙣𝙟𝙤𝙮𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧!! 𝙄'𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 1 𝙪𝙥𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠?