Comedy Texting

Never

Larry: Dude, I am never going give you Mountain Dew ever again. You get crazy.

Bob: Why? I love it!

Larry: Last time, you picked up a little Mexican girl and screamed in her face "DORA! I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME!"

Bob: That was one time.

Larry: Another time, you picked up my hamster and threw him at the wall, yelling "I choose you, Pikachu!"

Bob: So?

Larry: He died.

Larry: Then there was that time you ran up to that biker dude and hugged him, screaming "Hagrid, you're real!"

Bob: He looked like it!

Larry: You also asked me once to throw fruit at you while you swung around with a fruit knife, yelling "I am the fruit ninja!"

Bob: Was I any good?

Larry: No.

Larry: And you chucked my aunt's parakeet at my piggy bank, screaming "Angry Birds!"

Bob: Oh.

Larry: You stuffed my cat in a pillow case and ran around singing "It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet!"

Bob: Okay, maybe I shouldn't have Mountain Dew.

Haha, like it? This is for everyone, so I made a collage of some of the drunk messages I found and switched to Mountain Dew. THIS IS NOT RATED MATURE. This is dedicated to fartasticstories.