Make it or break it

"Life as a surgeon, you know."

Season 1 Episode 5, 29:52

"See it?" Dr. Shepherd asked Alex as they stared into the patients brain using the microscope machine. 

"It's hard to miss." Karev said as I calmly examined the issue. I loved being in the O.R. so much. It might sound creepy but the sound of the heart beeping on the heart monitor and the rest being quiet with only our voice breaking it soothed me. 

Shepherd sigh, "Little more than he bargained for."

"Maybe he's lucky. Maybe this is his way out of the hole."

"The hole?" Derek furrowed his brows making me do the same as I turned to look at Alex. "Interesting expression."

Alex's eyes moved to mine as we made eye contact. It stayed like that for a bit as if he was trying to hold something back because I was here. Then I could see him take a deep breath and turn back to the microscope like nothing happened. 

"My father was into smack pretty heavy. He was a musician. It's tolerated in his line of work, not good for the family at home."

Even though he had broken the eye contact, I never stopped looking at him. I couldn't. I just looked at him with sorrow in my eyes and felt a pang to my heart when I heard him explain his story. 

I wonder why he didn't say anything, when I told him about my dad being a drug addict during the locker room incident. 

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Once Shepherd finished the operation and closed the wound, we headed back to the sinks to scrub out. 

"Can you guys see him through recovery?" He asked as he shimmied the excess water from his hands and arms. 

Alex nodded beside me. "Yeah, I'll take it."

"No, I can do it." I refused as I was the person that was supposed to discharge people tonight and he was here as long as me so, he deserved to go home. 

"That's okay, Porter."

I shook my head as I scrubbed up my arms. "He's my patient now, too."

"No, I got it." He closed the sink being done with his scrubbing job. "See your cop. I'm serious." He walked passed me going to grab a rag to dry off.  

"Yeah, okay. I guess." I don't know why I felt so confused but, something about this felt off. "Thanks, Alex."

"No, problem." He said a little louder and slammed his paper in the pin and walked out. I might be wrong but he sounded angry and for some reason I felt myself wanting to know why. 

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I walked into the roommates and I's house and immediately I could smell the sweat and alcohol as music played loudly around me. 

I felt jealous as I watched all the drunk adults stupidly dance and have fun clearly not being in the right state of mind due to alcohol. Sadly, I felt way too tired to join them which really bummed me out. 

I looked around for Noah a bit and after a while I just gave up, I'd just have to call him tomorrow and apologize for being late. 

I walked up the stairs, pushing drunk strangers out of my way as I did so. Finally, I found myself standing in front of my door and quickly reached the nob and turned it, walking into my bedroom. 

My room was dark but not dark enough to miss the shadow sitting atop of my bed. 

"Hey, you can't be in here." I raised my voice feeling agitated and slightly annoyed.