the doctor will never forget rose. not really. and though he may not speak of her, or let himself be as sad as he once was, he remembers her. even hundreds and thousands and millions and billions of years later.
the doctor will move on, not because...
Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.
"i'm in the future." amy turned around in shock. "like hundreds of years in the future!"
she turns away from the doctor and her face falls slightly.
"i've been dead for centuries." the doctor walked closer to her, ending up very close to her.
"oh lovely. you're a cheery one." he sounded cold and stoic, trying to avoid letting amy know the real reason why her words upset him.
"no i'm fine!" rose reassured her mum as she spoke to the woman who was 5 billion years behind her daughter. "top of the world."
she and the doctor both let out a slight chuckle as jackie hung up the phone.
"if you think that's amazing you wanna see the bill." he tried cracking a joke, but she barely listened.
"that was 5 billion years ago. so, she's dead now. 5 billion years later, my mums dead." it was obvious rose was having some trouble processing what she had just realized.
"bundle of laughs you are." she once again didn't take to his joke. he felt his heart squeeze at how sad she looked.
but all he wanted was to have someone understand the pain of watching their entire planet burn.
not just anyone, he wanted rose to understand. she had already done so much for him in what , for her, had been such little time.
and he loved her for that.
he felt himself growing sad as he found the parallel in amy and rose's words.
he tried not to think of it, to try and remember that he still had someone by his side, but it was pointless.
she wasn't rose tyler, and the doctor resigned himself to the fact that he would never stop thinking about his precious rose. - "crying silently. i mean children cry cause they want attention, cause they're hurt or afraid. when they cry silently it's cause they just can't stop." he explained, pausing slightly. "any parent knows that."
it slipped out without him even realizing he said.
for a minute, he was talking to rose. he was talking to rose telling her that he was a dad once and she was responding with a scared look on her face.
"i was a dad once." the doctor didn't even look up at her as he spoke, but he still saw the look on her face.
she looked terrified as she processed what he'd said. and her reaction was fair.
the doctor has wanted to tell her for so long, but he'd never been able to find a way to bring it up.
"what did you just say?" rose shakily responded. but the doctor didn't answer.
he continued on with the machine he was fiddling with, moving quickly about the tardis, but the look on her face.
that was something he'd never forget.
"are you a parent?" realizing it wasn't rose, the doctor's eyes widened.
he was hit with sadness as he realized that he had just told amy something about himself that he didn't share with almost anyone else.
not just anyone.
the last person to know he had once been a parent (well, except for the whole daughter fiasco with donna, martha, and jenny, but that was a whole other story) was rose. rose tyler.
and as much as he loved amelia pond, she would never be rose tyler. - he tried to forget her, he really did.
all the time. but when amy and the doctor stood there, looking out at space with the star whale below them that was saving the ship, the doctor felt himself thinking of her.
"amy you could've killed everyone on this ship."
"you could've killed a star whale."
"and you saved it. i know, i know." he didn't want to admit what he would've done if she hadn't figured it out.
the star whale that volunteered to save them, because it couldn't stand to watch their children cry any longer.
but they had tortured and enslaved it for hundreds of years because they thought that it would run away and dissolve their entire civilization if they set it free.
somehow, amy knew that it wouldn't.
"amazing though, don't you think? the star whale." she hesitated, almost uncertain if she should continue. "all that pain and misery, and loneliness, and it just made it kind."
"but you couldn't have known how it would react."
"you couldn't. but i've seen it before. very old and very kind. and the very very last." the doctor knew exactly what she was talking about. she was talking about him. "sound a bit familiar?"
he couldn't help but pulled her into a bone crushing hug. a hug deep enough to hide the tears that worked up to the surface.
because he was old and he was kind. but he hadn't always been, kind especially.
he wasn't kind until he met rose. he was still the same kind, caring doctor, but he wasn't the same kind of kind.
rose had taught him how to be kind and show mercy, and in the comfort of amelia ponds hair, he cried for her.
he cried for her carrying on that legacy without even knowing.
and he cried for the woman he lost and the woman he still loved.
