the doctor will never forget rose. not really. and though he may not speak of her, or let himself be as sad as he once was, he remembers her. even hundreds and thousands and millions and billions of years later.
the doctor will move on, not because...
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"listen, where did you get this number?" the doctor was incredibly confused.
it was 1207, what on earth was someone looking for the internet doint phoning 1207?
"the woman in the shop wrote it down." the voice sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. her mention of 'the woman in the shop' made him freeze.
he only knew one woman in a shop.
rose tyler.
"it's a helpline isn't it? she said it's the best helpline out there. in the universe she said."
her choice of words once again made him freeze.
this woman in the shop, she could've said best helpline in the world or best helpline ever.
but she didn't, she chose to say universe, this woman in the shop.
a woman in the shop who thinks to use the word universe instead of world?
his hearts lurched.
because maybe, just maybe, the woman in the shop could be the same one he met in an earlier regeneration.
maybe, the woman in the shop could be his rose.
but even as he thought it he knew it was impossible.
because rose was gone, and he could never see her again. - clara was in danger. again.
"not this time clara i promise you." the doctor hacked the computer trying to get her back as fast as he could.
he couldn't lose her. not again, not for a third time.
he'd already lost her twice.
and as much as this was about clara, he also needed to prove something to himself.
he'd lost rose twice.
the first time at bad wolf bay, and the second time at bad wolf bay again.
he'd already lost clara twice.
the doctor never got a chance to see rose tyler again, never got the chance to lose her a third time.
now he'd been given a chance to correct with clara where he'd gone wrong with rose.
and he refused to lose her.
'i will never lose anyone again the way i lost rose.' he quickened the pace he was working at.
'i'll save her, rose. i promise you, i'll save her like i couldn't save you.' - he was deducting. something he was missing, it was close.
the doctor could feel it.
"because a few hours ago you knew nothing about the internet." he looks around before leaning in towards her.
"and you just made a joke about twitter." he'd seen it before. some aliens had the technology.
it was definitely possible.
to download more intelligence than one naturally has into a human brain.
he'd seen it before.
the chips. the school.
rose.
there had been an oil that the krillitane had placed in the chips to make the children smarter.
the doctor felt himself wilt. he let out a quiet sigh.
'clara.' he thought to himself. 'this is about clara. not, rose.'
the doctor hesitated to even think her name to himself.
because if the doctor allowed himself to start thinking about rose tyler, he knew he'd never stop.
but then again, he already could never stop thinking about her.
and he didn't think he ever would. - "but you don't run out on the people you care about." the doctor felt himself getting sad.
it was admirable.
clara wouldn't run out on the kids. she stayed faithful to them because they had lost their mother, and she knew how that felt.
there were so many things he'd lost over the course of his life.
so many people that he had run out, not intentionally or because he chose to, but because he had to.
so many of his old friends plagued his mind. amy, donna, martha.
but no one more than rose.
no matter how much he felt guilt for leaving people behind, there was no guilt like the guilt that stuck with him from her.
he'd left her there, not once, but twice.
and now he felt guilty for it.
because even after all this time, the doctor still loved his rose.
