Entity #444

12: Lost

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Thank you guys so much for your support on this! It's been a minute since I've updated, I know! Thanks for sticking with me! Enjoy!
~Marzena

Playlist songs for this chapter:
Lost- Zola Jesus
Blown Away- Sivert Høyem
Ain't No Sunshine- Geoff Castellucci

***

The entire next week after falling into the void was uneventful, to say the least. My nights were nearly sleepless, and when I did sleep, it was filled with restless tossing and strange dreams. None, of which took me back to Nazarius.

Not only were my days consumed by thoughts of wandering the Backrooms at Nazarius' side, but also, those thoughts were consumed by fears of never being able to return to him. The Backrooms were maniacally expansive in square footage- how would I ever manage to find him? In a sense, I was lost now... and so was he.

After taking several steps to be able to project into the astral once more, I finally found one key to the series of locks that had manifested between Nazarius and I. Between loading up on chamomile and lavender herbal tea and introducing different foods into my diet, I ended up slamming more melatonin as well. The combo eventually turned out to be effective... kind of.

It was a Friday evening when the rain had decided to hit hard, bringing the night sky with it. I mulled over the situation as I readied myself for bed. As much as I didn't want to admit it, this particular astral traveling event had taken over a significant portion of my life- whichever parts of it were not spent working.

Returning to the Backrooms without Nazarius could be plenty dangerous on its own, I thought, looking in the mirror while brushing my teeth. But the truth was, if I ever wanted the slightest chance of reuniting with this once-in-a-lifetime being, I had to try.

Nazarius

Standing tall, yet feeling quite the opposite, Nazarius froze and stared blankly up towards the spot where Marzena had last been before she disappeared. He stayed completely still for a couple of minutes. Deep maroon blood dripped from his jaws, and it seemed as though something deep inside of him had fractured. Something non-physical.

His breathing had somewhat returned to normal, and a blaring-bright red tongue reached what blood that it could, smearing some on his cheekbones. He briefly glared down at the broken, bone remains of the Scratcher, swung his body around, and surveyed the network of tunnels before him.

A few minutes had hardly passed when a severe, throbbing ache took over Nazarius' skull, originating in what felt like the core of his brain. His vision blurred and dizziness enveloped him, leaving Nazarius to grow increasingly frustrated and disoriented.

Excruciating pain seethed down through the entire nervous pathway from his withers to his front legs, and Nazarius struggled to focus on any one tunnel. He found himself transferring more weight into his hindquarters and favoring his front legs as he tried to make a decision.

The overwhelming driving force of the Backrooms' "Unknown" propelled Nazarius forward no matter what might've occurred, overriding his physical turmoil. While trying to figure out how to limp on two bad feet, he chose a tunnel branching off to the right and slowly proceeded forward.

Please... help me find her, he prayed as the light from his eyes struggled to brighten. His heavy breathing soon returned as he struggled to move in his broken manner.

He didn't know how it would happen, but it was now his priority number one...

I need to find her.

Marzena

"If you can see it and believe it, you can achieve it..."

Two more nights had passed with no luck projecting myself into the astral. I started to resort to other metaphysical means of finding Nazarius again. I was going to need all the help I could get. Trying to force the issue would, obviously, make it worse.

So this particular night I laid in bed and conjured up a particular daydream. I imagined what it would be like to see Nazarius again, what it would be like to touch him, hold him, and for him to hold me.

His horns and glowing red eyes stood out in my mental images; I made sure to note his deep gravelly voice. Everything else might've been a vague blur to my inner eye, but his trademark sensations on my skin were certainly not lacking.

I quietly reveled in the manufactured feelings of his high body temperature winding around me. As I pictured different scenarios, my mind wandered, and my torso bubbled with many emotions- excitement, wonder, affection, relief.

Among these scenarios were visions of him and I playing in the river, him bellowing with laughter. Some visions were quieter, and glowing warm with Nazarius' affection and deep voice. These were the visions that eventually lulled me to sleep.

Nazarius

After taking himself just about as far as he could, the oversized stallion gifted himself a controlled collapse to his knees. He sank down in a greenish field that was growing in this particular tunnel he had ventured into. Groaning raspy and gruff, he picked a spot underneath a "window" and came down.

Warm-colored light poured over him, almost as sunlight would, and Nazarius found it to be lightly soothing. However, the criticality of his situation slowly seeped into his mind as sleep tugged at him.

Devastated and confused by Marzena's disappearance, he ached for home... the deep cavern system of the Backrooms, where the only entity there to be feared was him. But was there any point in going if he never saw the small woman again? Fate had brought them together once. Could faith bring them together again?

Distracting himself by focusing on memories of her, he soon failed to keep even his head up. The pain and vertigo had become too debilitating. Intuition said it was time for a deep sleep.

He sprawled out on his side entirely, and his glowing eyes slowly faded out.

Marzena

I semi-awoke in what seemed to be an empty, dimly lit area. The musty scent of tunnel water hit my nostrils and my heart jumped... but this wasn't entirely normal.

I squinted to see literally anything, but my vision was black. I could smell, but not see? What the- why? I asked. The sound of dripping water came next and I knew where I should've been. What I heard next was bone-chilling.

A screech unlike anything I have ever heard, and a bellow. The sound of four dinner plate-sized hooves scrambling, hitting concrete at different times, and a strong sense of panic in each bellow.

There were flashes of movement, teeth, blood, and Nazarius' red eyes. I heard bones cracking and cries of pain. The chaos continued and as I tried to move away from my racing heart and discomfort, I realized with horror that I couldn't.

I was stuck.

Sleep paralysis.

This is not safe. I need to go. I need to escape!

I started trying to break out of the suffocating nighttime phenomena.

A minute went by that seemed like an hour. Violent, bloody visions flashed in front of my inner eye. My heartrate elevated as I fought, and with it, I shot up out of my bed with a gasp.

I felt as if there was no air in my lungs no matter how fast I inhaled and exhaled. Not even gasping for air could calm me fast enough to keep tears from spilling from my eyes. I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around me as I started bawling in the dark. After a second of losing it, I reached for the lamp switch.