16: Sublimity

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Marzena

Wading through the lukewarm waters of the poolrooms brought a new peace to my soul and my body. Coming down after my nearly fatal attack, I actually started to enjoy the water flowing around me, lifting and supporting my weight. The currents wound around my limbs and caressed my form in a loving way.

Water had been my best friend since I could remember. Here was no different- finding the poolrooms felt like receiving a warm hug after what I had been through. I waded in the shallows, and where I couldn't wade, I swam. Where I couldn't swim, I got out and walked until the cold air got to me. As I wandered, so did my mind, trying to preserve the last bit of sanity I had left. The adrenaline still stung my veins.

I clung to my walking stick, rolling it between my hands when wading, and clutching it between my thighs when swimming. No way would I lose the only defense I had. As I carried it, my thumb traced over the engravings absent-mindedly. There seemed to be shapes carved in it, but I didn't stop to look. I was too consumed with my surroundings, and remained focused on what was in front of me.

After a while of being in the water, my skin pruned. I found myself wading through a tunnel, where the light on the other side was warm much unlike the moonlight I had been wading under previously. I looked around, filled with wonder. Logic and background knowledge told me there would be no entities here. Saddened yet also relieved by this, my mind started to relax a bit, and the death grip on my walking stick loosened.

When I came out of the other side, I was greeted by sunlight and a spiraling staircase in the center of a tall, bright room. The staircase was a waterfall in itself, water flowing down the steps and into the pool I was in. The room, with its windows at the top near the ceiling, was small. The only way was up through the ceiling.

This is a good place to rest...

I slowly began to climb up out of the water near the edge of the room, throwing my walking stick up onto the dry white tiling. The weightlessness of being in the water I had gotten so used to, that now when I was out, my body felt so heavy. As the fatigue kicked in, I listened to the sounds of the water lapping at the pool edges. It was almost soothing. I sat against the wall in a patch of sunlight, and squeezed my hair out, slicking back my bangs.

The sun began to warm and dry my body as I closed my eyes. The warmer, humid air here enveloped me. My mind wandered back to Nazarius and the black water of the river we traversed together. The aqua-blue of this pool water was much more inviting, but I preferred the rushing black water of the river if it meant I could be with the beast.

It was comforting to remember what it was like to sit upon his back, with all of his body heat seeping into my bones. The scene of him looking back at me and admiring me with one glowing eye replayed in my mind. "You wear this river like a gown," he had growled. His deep, gravelly voice had been nearly choked with a kind of... desire? I had shivered when he added a simple, "Beautiful," at the end of his statement.

As I reconsidered this situation past, my exhaustion got the best of me. I briefly lost consciousness and began to snooze. It wasn't long before a vision started to form.

"If you lay back and relax, you'll float," the stallion murmured with his head low to the warm, shin-deep water we were in. I held my arms around my knees, sitting folded in a fetal position. The light here in the caverns was dim and the sight distance was no more than three feet, making me feel like I was in a hole, about to be sucked under. My dry clothes sat in a pile outside of the small hot spring we sat in.

Slowly I tried to lay back, but something deep in my psyche would not let me relax completely. I fought it, and let all of my limbs float, trying to push up with my chest to make my neck stop tensing. When this worked for a second, I heard Nazarius' muffled grunt of approval, but as soon as I started to float towards the edge of the pool, I panicked and sat up again, gasping for air as my behind sunk back to the bottom.

"Easy now," the stallion rumbled, putting his bony muzzle in my space to support me as I caught my breath. He had been sitting on his haunches until I had my little freak-out. Now, he stood above me, lower body and hindquarters glistening with dripping saltwater, holding his head at my level. "You are supposed to relax." His red eyes glowed in the dark, and the reflections danced on the surface of the water.

I wiped some water from my face, questioning the anxiety in my chest. "How am I supposed to relax if I don't feel anything supporting me?"

Nazarius only urged, "Try again."

I paused for a moment, giving him a half-defiant look, then leaned back into the water once again. My legs floated upwards while the rest of my neck stayed tense still. I saw the beast move out of the corner of my eye, and felt something grasping my body at my hips, keeping me in place.

The giant had placed a front hoof on either side of my body and secured my hips between his legs. He leaned down close to me once more, and rumbled close to my ear, "I'm holding you still. You can relax completely now."

I was still cautious, but I closed my eyes and attempted to let my muscles go, at first deciding to hold onto Nazarius' legs. Sure enough, my body floated, held in place. I slowly let go of his ankles as I released the breath I didn't know I had been holding. I opened my eyes again briefly to find the stallion leaning over me, his face close to mine. The vibrations of his voice traveled through his legs, right into me and the water.

"There you go..."

I closed my eyes again hearing the hum of his voice, and now raised my arms near my head, truly relaxing. I thoroughly enjoyed knowing that Nazarius was right there with me. He brought his bony muzzle to my ear and had started to rumble something. Chills ran down my spine and I cracked a small smile.

And with that, my dream faded out.

...

It took me a minute to fully awaken from my dream. This had only been the second time I had slept since getting lost in the Backrooms, and it seemed every time I managed to sleep, I suffered disorientation thereafter. I blinked sleep from my eyes, and tried to rub away the grogginess. I looked around to gain some kind of bearing on my surroundings, but nothing had changed since I had fallen asleep. The sunlight still shone in the windows brilliantly, and the water still lapped at the edges of the pool.

Before moving, I took a minute to ponder the dream. I replayed the scene in my mind, noting what had happened and trying to make sense of it all. I was hit with a mixture of grief, warmth, and appreciation. If I couldn't get back to Nazarius in the Backrooms, at least it seemed he showed up consistently in my dreams. That, which I was very grateful for. I only had one question.

What did he say at the end that made me grin like that?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I knew I had to keep going, or else there was an absolute zero chance of ever finding out.

It seemed now that the only way through, was up those stairs. I slowly gathered myself and my walking stick, and dipped back into the water. I welcomed the warmth, but it was still subpar compared to a large body. As I waded towards the steps, I noticed the flow of water from the top had nearly stopped, reduced to nothing more than a trickle. I raised an eyebrow at this, then began my climb to the top.

The staircase of white tile spiraled up through the ceiling, coming to a stop on a floor with no windows. The only light was from one fluorescent lamp, and the floor was concrete again. The small room in front of me contained a wall with three large holes in it, each one a differently colored slide. One blue, one yellow, and one red. The blue and yellow slides were flowing with water, while the red one was not.

Deciding I was done with the water, I held my walking stick to my body lengthwise and took the red slide.

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