Child

Existence

Pain.

That is the first thing you experience.

Light pierces through the gaps in your eyelids, burning them shut again. The ground is rough under you. The sky above you burns your skin. People walking past you sometimes trip over you a little, but nobody properly notices you.

You crawl under a bench attached to a wall and curl up tightly, wrapping your arms around your knees. Your body is the only thing that doesn't feel horrible against your body. You open your eyes. This time you can see. Thick soled boots rush past your hiding place. Some high-healed, some shiny, some snow boots, some business shoes. Still, nobody sees you.

You look up at the adults walking past. Some of them wear tight leather dresses, touching the ground, turning out at the hem and covering up their shoes. Everyone you can see is wearing a full-face gas mask. Some are canister type gas masks, some aren't, some are leather masks with tight leather glove-ish hood around their head that you couldn't fit much hair into and covering their entire body, designed as tight body suits or tight dresses. Nobody isn't wearing a gas mask. You try, futilely, to cover your mouth and nose with your hands.

You breathe in and out, shortly. You aren't sure if you're breathing at all. Your body trembles, uncontrollably.

Then she finds you. She's not wearing a tight, leather dress. Her dress is cotton and puffy. It only goes down to her knees. Her gas mask covers her face, but it doesn't go right around the back of her hair. Her hair wouldn't be able to fit inside a glove-headed gas mask anyway. It's long, extremely curly and black fading into bright red at the roots. Her boots are also too big to be inside a costume like some of the others. Her hands are covered by gloves, so aside from her hair, you can't really see her at all.

She sees you before anyone else does. You're scared at first, but then you stop trusting how you feel. She picks you up, easily in her arms. You're a lot smaller than her. A lot smaller than everyone. "What happened?" she asks you, worriedly. You don't answer her. She holds you tight.

"My name is Ramona Vein." she tells you. "I'm going to take you to the police station."

Your skin is just starting to adjust to the air. You have no clothes. No possessions. You long for your mothers warmth. Far away from you now.

At the police station, The Chief of Police lends you her t-shirt which hangs below your knees. You nibble a stick of liquorice while the police talk to Ramona.

Ramona explains that you're not her child and she doesn't know what happened to you. The Chief of Police says she'll try and help you, but she asks Ramona a lot more questions she doesn't have answers to.

The Chief of Police comes and sits next to you. She isn't wearing a gas mask. The chunky boots she's wearing are similar to Ramona's. She has a shiny revolver on her belt, but she seems friendly. She asks you the same questions she asked Ramona and you don't know the answers to any of them.

She asks you if you want more liquorice, but you ask her if she has any more substantial food. She tells you that's a fair request. "Can you just answer me one question?" she asks you. "What is your name?"

You try to remember your name. Thousands of names come into your head, but you don't know which one is yours. So many stories you can remember, but have no personal connection to them. "I don't have one." you tell her.

After several hours, Ramona says she'll take you to her house. You ask her if you need a gas mask. 

"It's not entirely necessary." Ramona explains. "They've become more fashionable and easier to get lately. It's good to wear them because of the air these days. Y'know?" You don't. She's surprised.

"The air." she repeats, looking directly into your eyes.

She looks at you longer.

"What is your latest memory before you were at the train station?"

You think back to the way you felt, warm next to your mother's skin. Back then, you were safe from everything. Your mother was soft but tough. You fear you'll never feel that way again. "I don't remember anything." You say.