Child

Messages

The blanket you sleep under has been your blanket ever since you arrived at Ramona Vein's house. The whole time you've been Child Vein. As long as you can remember. It's not warm physically, but it's warm emotionally.

Ramona gets a call from work and she tells you she has to go. She says "I might be out all night. Take care of yourself while I'm gone. Don't do anything dangerous."

"I'm sixteen, Ramona. I'm not going to burn our house down." you tell her.

"Call me mother, please." She smiles at you with tight lips and you smile back. "Just, yeah. Go to sleep and I'll probably be back by morning."

"And if you're not?"

She pauses. "I will be."

She puts on her overcoat and gas mask. And her clear plastic raincoat on top which is shaped just like her overcoat, it's like a snakeskin. Then she puts her gun holster on her hip and turns back to you. She waves goodbye. Then she leaves.

You're alone in the house. You were alone in the house earlier today, but it doesn't feel the same this time. You sneak into Ramona's room - a boundary she would never cross with you. You open all the drawers in her desk and throw pieces of paper all over the floor. You're not entirely sure what you're looking for until you find it. And then you do. It's a telegram.

Hello.

I have received intelligence that something I have lost is with you. Thank you for taking care of my child-

"Child" bounces around your brain. You keep reading.

Thank you for taking care of my child this long. I am sorry it has taken me so long to find you, child. I didn't remember where I had dropped you and time goes slower for me. But every moment that past since I lost you, I have been overwhelmingly worried about you. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me, or if you can't forgive me, at least trust me from now on.

Sincerely, 

Mama

The date on the telegram is two years ago. You sink to the floor. Your mother reached out, and Ramona didn't tell you. Maybe Ramona doesn't want you to be happy, maybe she just wants to keep you there. Ramona's house doesn't feel as much like a home anymore. It feels like a prison.

You take off your pyjamas and get back into your day clothes. You put the telegram in the inside pocket of your jacket. Fill your bag with spare clothes and some food from the pantry. You put on your rabbit gas mask which you got when you were thirteen. You stick your feet in your gumboots and you're just about ready to go. You leave a note for Ramona.

Ramona,

You are not my mother. My mother is looking for me and you made the decision to keep that information from me. Now I am making the decision to go look for her on my own. I might never come back here. Take care of yourself and don't do anything dangerous.

Sincerely, 

Mama's Child

You leave the note on the kitchen bench instead of on your bed, because you don't want her to have to break her rule. Then you walk out the back door into the wind and the rain.