Special Chapter Kid vs Hormones

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I hold my throbbing head and stifle a whimper. What the hell did I just do that makes my head feel like someone tried to split it with a hatchet? Groaning, I straighten up and grab my forehead. "KILLER NOW DON'T LIE SO FAULTY!" a voice bellows at me, which doesn't make my headache any better. Wait a minute Killer? I have a very bad premonition right now. I slowly open my eyes and the first thing I see is a door. The second is a very angry Kid. I can guess what happened. The numskull on steroids has slammed the door in his vice's face. "Since when does a little push like that knock you off your feet? You must have had too much to drink last night!" mocks Kid. I want to go home, I really can't stand that guy now. If I catch this guy who is so bored that he makes a drama out of my life, there will be dead people! 'What's going on here?' asks a calm voice, which is a real relief compared to Kid's yelling. 'I'm in your body and I have a headache. Which your captain is probably responsible for. I mean the headache, not the body change,' I explain to Killer.

All of a sudden I get a huge headbutt. Yelping, I hold my head and face an angry Kid. "Why?" I whine. Which leads to an interesting reaction: Kid's head turns the colour of his hair and a thick, throbbing vein appears on his forehead. 'You shouldn't irritate the captain!' Killer instructs me. 'Everything irritates your captain!' I remark. "WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE A WIMP!" roars Kid so loudly that I jerk my head back. If ever there was a person who needed anti-aggression therapy, it's Kid. But I'm nowhere near stupid enough to point it out to him. I take a deep breath and launch into an explanation before Kid rages, well rages some more.

"I am not Killer, my name is Lucia. I change bodies from time to time. Don't worry, you'll have your Vice back soon, because I have to go back myself," I explain tonelessly and emotionlessly. 'Unwise!' Killer adds his two cents. Suddenly I am yanked up by the collar and dragged in front of Kid's face. "WHAT THE FUCK? DO YOU WANT A BEAT DOWN ON YOUR FACE?!" comes Kid's dulcet voice in full volume. "Nope, I'm telling the truth. Little hint I'm a Whitebeard pirate too." I say, just cursing the fact that next to nothing is known about the Kid Pirates. Apart from their bad taste in fashion. I see Kid grinning and a fist hurtling towards me. Unconsciously I access Ace fire powers via the band and dissolve into fire. "WHAT?" roar several voices on the deck. Kid has let go of me and I've landed butt first on the deck again. Now I'm being eyed suspiciously by everyone as I stand up and pat my pants off. I look around and see several pairs of eyes on me. I shrug my shoulders. 'You're taking this whole thing very calmly!" says Killer tonelessly. Goodness what Kid has too much of a temper, Killer has too little of it. Haven't these two ever heard of the golden mean?

'Somebody has to keep a cool head,' Killer replies to my train of thought. Kid growls at me and activates his devil powers. Defensively I raise my hands and say: 'Calm down! As I said, I'll disappear again and then you'll have dismantled your vice. You won't kill me with it!" I say and add in my mind: I hope. Kid takes a few deep breaths. 'Why are you so relaxed about the situation?' Killer asks me and I think I detect a hint of curiosity, but I'm not sure. 'It's not the first time and certainly not the most dangerous,' I answer. 'You've had someone more dangerous than Kid?' Killer asks me with amusement. As Kid breathes in and out reassuringly, I say to Killer: 'I was in Akainu, oh yes sorry if he bothered you! Um then I was in Law, but I wouldn't classify him as more dangerous, apart from the fact that he can't stand me anyway, ever since I smashed up his submarine and cuddled his teddy. Who else can I list?' I think thoughtfully and scratch my temple. 'The red dog didn't chase us!' is all Killer says to that. 'Oh he didn't? Then he will!' I say amused. Then at least they can prepare themselves.

"Are you a demon?" I hear the Kid ask. I raise my eyebrows in amusement, which no one sees through the mask. Maybe I should get one of these for conversations with Marco. I hear a rough laugh in my head. But then I turn back to Kid and his pirates. "Even if Marco would say otherwise, Law quite aside, I am a human being. And I'm attached to my life!" I shoot down the standard justifications. "And why can you occupy other bodies?" asks Kid with a dirty grin. I am so not liking this guy. "I blame Ace," I say incoherently. Irritated, Kid frowns and starts to growl. Somehow I have a talent for making enemies, even when I'm not doing anything. But in my defence, Kid sees enemies everywhere. Then I think of something I really need to ask before I leave here again, I forgot about Law: "Can I have your coat?" This question probably throws Kid off his game, because he pauses and looks at me, puzzled. "What?" he asks, confused. "Your coat! Can you send it to Moby?" I ask hopefully. Kid's face colour takes on an unhealthy hue again and I can count his heartbeat on his forehead vein. And then it bursts out of him, " ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!" I roll my eyes, which Kid thankfully doesn't see. 'Does your captain actually know that there is another form of communication besides shouting?' I ask Killer with amusement. 'Yes, and it's called spanking,' Killer says calmly. What?

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