My Son

Adjusting

CHAPTER THREE

T
A week after my eighteenth birthday, I found myself dealing with conflicting feelings of wanting to despise my mother to a point of wanting to escape the country or make peace... and no I don't want to talk about it. What I want to talk about however is how an unfortunate situation freed me from my very first control freak girlfriend.

Mandy was a replica of her monstrous mother in every way and my attraction to her was purely because of her drop-dead gorgeous appearance. Mandy Diale was the kind of girl who stopped traffic; literally. Whenever she was back from boarding school, boys gathered at street corners waiting for the moment she would step out of her parents' house. And I'd be lying through my teeth if I said it didn't give me great joy to know that every last one of those street corner boys knew Mandy stepped out of her house to come see me. I felt like a king up until Mandy was standing right next to me. In her presence, I was reduced to a boyfriend she knew was below her standard. In response I tried way too hard to prove myself.

While my friends spent their pocket money on games, alcohol and delicious take-aways, I saved mine for when the ever-so-demanding girlfriend would come around. Similar to her prima donna mother, Mandy's expansive taste in everything knew no boundaries. I suffered from things I couldn't name for three bloody years. The most important phase of a teen boy's life might I add.

A heavenly intervention came in a form of a person I personally don't consider godly or heavenly although many perceive him to be holier-than- thou. This person's attempts to get involved in our lives awakened a rebel in me. Best thing to ever happen to me. My first rebellious act led me to a heavenly youth gathering in a very charismatic denomination. Drove my mother crazy. The lively church services were spiritually uplifting and reviving but they also inspired the desire to explore. Something I was shunned from doing in my previous spiritual home. So with my new found freedom, I made the decision to never tie myself to another Mandy. My relationship with her turned me off the desire to commit to any other woman in any way, form or shape. So imagine my shock when mom called to say a lady by the name of Ellah claims I'm her child's father.

Next, I'll tell you about my first meeting with my very own son.

Z

Parental Instincts

When I was about twelve years of age, a Sunday school teacher summoned one of the mothers outside a church service and said, "one of your children just asked me why Joseph was such a pervert seeing as Mary was only 12 when she got with him"

I personally thought it was a fair question seeing as the school syllabus included lessons on protecting our bodies and reporting any and everything concerning our bodies to our parents without delay. We had been learning about sex, child birth and 'protecting ourselves' from STIs and STDs too. How one could catch them and what we needed to do to avoid falling prey to perverts, abusers and statutory rapists.

Upon hearing this information, the mother gasped then turned to her thirteen-year-old daughter and asked what's gotten into her. And while everyone listened to her explanation and got taken in by what seemed to be the most interesting thing to ever happen in church; I sat wondering how the woman knew which of her children asked the questions without being told.

*****

I should've been at work thirty minutes ago but destiny led me to mom's house. Kelly and I were meant to share a ride this whole week but I woke up with a strong urge to get here. Initially, I thought it was the guilt of not having made contact for over a week since I met Asa. I've been busy over thinking, analyzing and catching up on work because of my mental distraction. I worked my brain so much, my emotions got exhausted and stopped responding to the worries and fears my mind was generating.
With my body finally relaxed, I was able to join Kelly in our bed the night after our date with Asa but I stayed awake the whole night. Glaring at the dark of the night, pondering, calculating, visualizing, predicting then dispelling everything I've mentally built to convince myself that I am a father of two living children. And just when I thought I had finally relaxed enough to sleep, my mind repeated the whole cycle of thoughts all over again.