My Son

Pushing through

CHAPTER SIX

Z

I have a friend who suspects he might have fathered his brother's child. He and the brother's girlfriend got drunk one night while the brother was away on a business trip and one thing led to another.

Well, this is the twenty-first century. Your friend doesn't even need the mother to figure this out. DNA testing labs are scattered across the country. Have him take the child's sample and his to a lab. Simple.

Not that simple, actually. For one, the mother doesn't suspect the child might be his. Two; my friend fears his brother might not have the ability to produce. He doesn't want to hurt him with that truth.

He doesn't need to tell him. He can find out then not tell anyone.

*****

Debating further would've required I share the details of why I wouldn't want my child to think I'm anything either that his father. I also wouldn't have been able to give the disturbing details of why we finally had to be told about 'Father'. It wasn't because we asked, or because of some moral conscience.

It still makes my blood boil when I recall how I would still be in the dark pertaining my paternity had 'father' not required life-saving bodily fluids. Till this day, I admire Tandai's brazen decision to tell everyone involved to 'F' off. I, on the other hand, have a heart that's designed to feel, care and forgive. I have not mastered the ability to forget yet, hence you will never catch me dead in the same room as 'Father'.

After Asanda's night visit, I thought I was making progress but here I am a week later, fallaciously leaving my cellphone inside the fridge all night. That blunder alone wouldn't have worried me if it wasn't coupled by my travelling to work on my day off. I can't even begin to explain why the dead quiet roads didn't shock me back to thinking straight. It was the locked boom gate at work that did it. Frustrated, I drove back fuming at the realization of having missed the opportunity to sleep in after a hectic week at work. Kelly laughed but I stayed mad. If this persists, I'll be forced to worry her with the truth.

The next step was to consult doctor google.

Dear Google.

How can I stop my anxiety?

1. Take time out...

2. Eat well-balanced meals...

3. Limit alcohol and caffeine

4. Get enough sleep....

Google, what causes fear of the unknown?

The brain is constantly trying to predict what will happen next, allowing it to prepare the body and mind in the most effective way pissible...

Google, how to know if the child is yours without a DNA test?

It has been shown that newborns may resemble a mother's previous sexual partner....

What?

Google, what are the first signs of memory loss?

1. Asking the same questions repeatedly...

2. Forgetting common words when speaking ...

3. Taking longer to complete familiar tasks...

Google, what's wrong with me?

.........

The lesson behind this unfruitful exercise - google is not a doctor, therapist, counsellor or an expert in anything so I don't know why I didn't stop searching after identifying the search engine's limitations. Unbidden, I googled Ella Meya and didn't stop there. I clicked the facebook link provided and boom!