In Some Dark Holler

Chapter 6: Reflection

The sun was already beginning to sink low in the sky when Johann made camp. He quickly set up his tent, bedroll, and a small fire over which he could cook a simple meal. Thankfully, these tasks were routine enough that he could accomplish them without much thought since his mind was consumed by his brief but riveting interaction with Cole Sluder.

The nights were still quite cold in early spring, so after dinner, Johann sat close to the fire with a blanket over his shoulders and listened to the music of the night. A cacophony of crickets and cicadas would be screaming incessantly by midsummer, but for now he enjoyed the song of the breeze through the trees, the rhythmic fluttering of their upturned leaves, and some distant barks and howls from the valleys below. He heard high, squealing yips from packs of coyotes, hounds baying in alarm, and a low, tenor howling that silenced them all for a while.

Gazing upward, he could make out a few brilliant stars as they peeked through the patchwork of leaves in the canopy above him. Those dancing planets and burning gases blazed only slightly brighter than the thoughts and feelings that ignited within Johann as he sat alone in the wilderness.

He reflected on the last few months and how wonderful they were. Johann felt confident, truly in his element for the first time. His time spent working alongside fellows who appreciated the forest and sharing hard work was gratifying, and the intimacy and friendship he had found in their company were more genuine than any other time in his life. Despite the closeness, he had managed to not become distracted or give in to his passion, lest he ruin his chances of keeping his position. The chorus of men's voices raised in song, the cheerful sharing of drinks and stories, and even the good-hearted fighting and joking were something he did not want to lose. Johann had earned the respect of his comrades and superiors both over these winter months. He felt heard, appreciated, and fulfilled. Mostly fulfilled, that is. He still had an ache in the cavern of his chest that yearned to be filled by a connection with another living person, something warmer than the trees and stones, something closer than song and laughter.

Johann sighed, turning his eyes to the small flame burning brightly before him. 'All of this is at stake, and it takes one person to unravel me completely,' he thought. He buried his head in his hands.

'What is wrong with me? I don't even know this man, this Cole Sluder. He's the family of someone with whom we are doing business. He's off-limits. Not only that, but he is a stranger, a dangerous stranger, and one that considered doing me harm! Remember the rifle waiting by his hand, the glare that froze me in my tracks. We are of a size, he and I, but I felt so small and powerless as we faced each other down.'

'What is it about his shaggy hair, his blazing eyes, and his braying laughter that immediately stripped me of all my composure? I hope he could not see the thoughts behind my eyes or notice the blush behind my beard. I'll be more prepared if we meet again.'

'He said he would find me, but how can he do so? What do I do? Ah, god, but I hope he does find me again. I pray that I can keep myself together if he does.'

His thoughts pushed and pulled at Johann like the breeze that moved through the trees. After a while, they ceased being words and became a windy roar as Johann found himself dozing near a dying fire. He saw to the fire and retired to his canvas tent and bedroll. His sleep was deep and unbothered by dreams, and he woke with the sun and birds in the early morning. He decided that coffee and warmed sausage was worth the extra time to stoke the fire and cook, so he took his time to savor each of these simple delights.

A calm settled over him as he watched the sunrise. Suffused with a sense of belonging, Johann felt at one with these wild and ancient mountains.

Ah, but he did have some work to do. He was expected to return to the estate today and there were many miles to walk. Johann struck camp thoroughly, ensuring the fire was out and taking down the tent. As he lay the dew-damp canvas on the ground to roll it up, he noticed something interesting in the soft dirt nearby.

He knelt over the print and his brows furrowed - some sort of canine had passed through his camp last night. He was surprised that he hadn't woken up and noticed as it sniffed around. From the depth and size of the footprint left, it was a big creature. It was larger than the paw of a coyote or dog and even seemed too large to be from the red wolves that made these ranges their home.

Johann turned to his rucksack and pulled out his notebook and pencil. He rolled up his sleeves and deftly sketched the print, noting its measurements, the date, and the rough location of his camp. While he stashed the notebook back in the pack, he suddenly recalled the distant howls of the night before.

Once the tent was packed, the cold coals scattered, and the area swept for anything he left behind, Johann headed back the way he had come. Other than some bear sign clawed into the trees, everything appeared peaceful on his journey back to the edges of the forest. His path was clear, the day was beautiful, and much to his chagrin, he found himself alone all the way home.