Desiderium

Sunshine

This chapter was sponsored by closeted_ender aggressively throwing motivation at me.

      Happiness, quite an odd thing isn't it? There one minute, filling you with warmth and love, and gone the next, with you fearing it will never return. It felt like happiness had left for Tommy long ago, he hasn't felt truly happy since he woke up near the dirt tower, as if happiness had simply decided he wasn't worth the effort. He had accepted he'd probably never be happy after the first nightmare, because surely, surely, true happiness must be more than that? All Tommy had felt was the bad, never getting to experience the contrasting good in life, and if he had been happy while he was alive, he surely couldn't remember it now. It's not too bad honestly, if you never were happy to begin with, you don't really know what your missing.

     It's funny how certain people can bring happiness crawling back, how simply being around people who truly care about you, can chase away the emptiness so quickly.

     As Tommy darted around the house, laughing as Techno fondly chased him for stealing another gapple, he decided he always wants to feel this way, he never wants to feel the aching cavern of sadness, of fear, ever again. As Techno catches him, huffing in amusement as he plucks the apple from Tommy's grip, Phil smiling from where he stands next to Ghostbur, he thinks, he won't ever have to feel that way again. With Phil, Tech, even Ghostbur, with his family, happiness comes easily.

     It was so much easier than before, how had Tommy even lived like that, before his family, before he was happy?

     "You gremlin, you'd think after weeks of living here you'd remember to stop stealing food, anything else is fine, but we need gapples." Techno said, sighing fondly as he returned the golden apple to the chest. "But you have so many!" Tommy whined, floating to Techno and tugging on his arm. "We won't have many for long if you keep this up- hey- Tommy put it back! I'm not chasing you again!" Tommy just snickered and floated above Techno, holding another apple he'd snatched. "My apple now Tech-no-blade-!" The blonde said, laughing as he floated higher.

     Techno simply sighed, looking highly unimpressed. "You are a literal raccoon." He deadpanned, not bothering to try and catch Tommy while the blonde was above the ground. "I AM NOT-" Tommy screeched, holding the gapple closer to his chest as if the great offense to the blonde's honor would bruise the fruit. And yes, Techno wouldn't bother trying to catch Tommy while he was flying, but Tommy had made one fatal mistake in his great strategy. Ghostbur, was in fact not Technoblade.

     "Got you!" The older ghost hummed happily, quickly taking the apple from Tommy's hands and darting away. And Tommy's reaction to this, well, he of course reacted like the mature, responsible person he was.

     And immediately started screeching profanities.

     "OHHHH- FUCK YOU! YOU'VE BETRAYED ME! FOR TECHNOBLADE, OF ALL PEOPLE! OK SURE PHIL WOULD BE ACCEPTABLE, BUT THIS ISN'T PHIL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! THIS- THIS IS A FUCKING BATTLE FOR MY HONOR, FOR GAPPLES, GHOSTBUR! GAPPLES! AND YOU FUCKING DARE TO TAKE THE SHIT SIDE OF TECH-NO-BLADE!? FUCK YOU! FUCK.SHIT.BALLS.PISS. I CAN'T BELIE-"

     "Tommy! Please don't be mad, Tech just doesn't want you to have the gapples. You can-" "NO! FUCK YOU! THIS- THIS IS A FELONY!" Tommy said, pointing an accusatory finger at the older Ghost. "I can give you cake instead?" Ghostbur said, quietly handing the apple to Techno. "NO! ABSOLUTLEY NOT! I DEMAN- Actually, yeah, cake is Pog. Give me cake Ghost-man." He said, smiling as he pointed a finger gun at Ghostbur. (An incredibly dangerous finger gun of course).

     "No, Ghostbur, do not give cake to that feral child." Techno said, his tone was stern, but you could easily see the laughter glinting in his eyes. But that was no excuse, He had just called Tommy a child. And that, that was an inexcusable crime of the absolute highest degree. "I AM NOT A CHILD DICKHEAD!" He yelped, crossing his arms as he floated higher. "No. You are a literal child." Tech said, smiling as he raised an eyebrow. "Hey! I will have you know that I am quite literally the Biggest Man Ever!™ I should take you to the court of law for even suggesting that I could ever be anything less, and to call me a child! Really?! I-...guys?..." Tommy paused, cutting himself off as everyone went silent. They just stood there, looking at him, wide eyed, as he floated there.

     Oh no. He must've fucked everything up. What did he do? Why did they go quiet? Was it something he said? Fucking idiot, he probably annoyed them. Why can't he ever just figure out when to shut up? Tommy floated further away from them, swallowing nervously. Shit, what does he say now? He should've known this would happen, he should've known they'd get sick of him. "I- I'm sorry, I'll stop, I won't take the gapples anymore, I went to far! I-" Tommy froze, stiffening when Ghostbur floated up, pulling him into a hug. "Hey, it's okay Tommy. You didn't do anything wrong." The older Ghost said, smiling softly as he held the blonde in his arms. Tommy blinked, looking up at him.

     What?

     "I didn't? What- then? Why'd you all go quiet, If it was something I did then I swear I can fix it-" Ghostbur just hugged him tighter. "Tommy, mate, of course you didn't do anything wrong." Phil said. "We just never thought we'd hear another big man joke honestly." The man said, unshed tears glistening in the light. Technoblade then spoke up, "You used to call yourself a Big Man all the time, it was surprising to hear you say it again." He said. And with that, before he could even realize what he was doing, Tommy had flown to the floor, -Dragging Ghostbur with him of course-, and tackled the other two in a hug. "Tommy, you okay mate?" Phil said softly, brushing back Tommy's curls when he noticed the younger was crying. Tommy looked up, pausing. Yeah. "I am okay." He said, smiling. "Looks like my sheer amount of 'Big man-ness' is just universal."

     Tommy grinned as the small cabin was filled with laughter, here, in a messy pile of his laughing family, this is a moment he could stay in forever

o0o

     Tommy had thought Ghostbur was quite literally incapable of truly hating anything. And well, Tommy wasn't wrong, the older Ghost just simply loved everyone. It was something that seemed to never change, a constant he would always know about his brother.

     It seemed anteaters were the one exception to that rule.

     "But- what did anteaters even do wrong?!" Tommy questioned, looking up at Ghostbur from where his head was laid in the older's lap. "They're just horrible, it's common knowledge Tommy! They've got those weird faces, and they only eat ants! It's not right!" He said, threading his fingers through the blonde's curls. "They're simply the worst animal. Truly, they're horrific creatures sunshine, you must understand this." Ghostbur said, rambling on about the horrors of anteaters, but Tommy stilled, a single word replaying in his mind.

     Sunshine.

     Ghostbur had called him sunshine.

     Tommy smiled, leaning further into his brother as the older continued to talk. Sunshine. Just thinking of the word made Tommy's heart swell, Ghostbur thought he was like the sun. Bright and warm and caring Ghostbur, had called Tommy, his sunshine. Like Tommy was the one who shone so brightly, like Tommy was the one who's presence brought warmth and life wherever he went. It seemed almost ironic, that after they all brought happiness back into his life, that he was the one being called sunshine.

     But, hey, with the burst of warmth that washed over him when being called that, who was he to complain?